Woman turns sexts into a surprisingly beautiful song

BY MEGAN GRANT

“I need you to greet me with your mouth wide open,” the song begins, gently crooning from the rust-painted lips of a seasoned vocalist. “I’m so hungover I need to fuck,” it continues. No, it’s not a church hymn—it’s the euphonic NSFW ballad brought to you by a woman who turned all the sexts she has received into a song. In the sparsely-labeled video titled “Texts From A Beta,” a full orchestra works together to turn the raunchy texts into almost thought-provoking lyrics.

Imagine all of the strangest things you’ve been sexted over the course of your adult life, now add in some stereotypical frat flare, and there you have yourself the lyrics to “Texts From A Beta.” They range from creatively grotesque to plain lewd. Charming invitations like “there’s gonna be a party in your ass tomorrow,” blend seamlessly into zingers like “your loss, I pack heat and hang dong,” rounding out the ballad in a most unique way. By the end of the piece, a gospel-like choir joins in with some seriously gorgeous harmonies and side to side step touches, if you didn’t speak English (or sext), you’d be sure it was church.

On a lighter note, although the creators of the song say very little about it, they have assured viewers that these are text messages that have been exchanged between two consenting adults. These aren’t messages from a man who’s harassing her, they’re messages she responds to because she’s into it. So, she’s not trying to send her beta sexter to the stake—she’s just being creative and maybe unintentionally holding a mirror up to our generation.

While I know that sexting can be empowering for some people, I personally think these texts are not the best reflection of our generation’s attitude towards sex, ego, and communication. What would the generations prior to ours think about these kinds of messages? If they had cell phones during their sexually adventurous years, would their message history look the same? Did they pass notes to each other detailing the same romance-less obscenities? Or would taking the time to put these words on paper be just enough time to make you rethink sharing them?

Listen to the surprisingly beautiful track here and then do your best not to have the opening line stuck in your head for the rest of the day … because it’s totally NSFW:

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