Every Halloween, trick-or-treating would end with my sister and I sorting through our bags of candy and discarding any pieces we couldn’t or didn’t want to eat—mostly because of our mild allergy to peanuts. But judging from the weird shit that trick-or-treat hosts were giving out this year, between hotdogs and toothbrushes, it looks like Kids These Days are having to do much more legwork door-to-door to get to the good stuff.
On Twitter, parents and siblings of kids who spent the evening bothering strangers for candy showed off the more “creative” objects that neighbors were gifting the youngins. From baggies of teeth flossers to soap, it appears that adults felt so emboldened to ruin Halloween, they went out of their way not to be lazy, forgoing pouring a 300-count bag of candy into a pumpkin-esque bowl.
Of course, there were the stock neighbors who wanted to make sure children weren’t going to rot their teeth this spooky season.
And ones who debated giving treaters a trick instead.
Dogsitting for a friend and I am anticipating the trick or treaters.— Crisis Thespian (@TeddyRedder) October 31, 2018
But considering giving these out to see if they'll egg my friend's house pic.twitter.com/3bVtjvfps5
Others decided to give away Very Old Possessions that they just going bring themselves to take to the Salvation Army.
And others at least kept to the theme of Halloween if they weren’t giving out candy themselves.
I tried ranking these little beats my parents are giving to trick or treaters in order of cuteness, but it was too hard. I can’t come up with a definitive order. pic.twitter.com/x4s3j39xQ2— Dr. Morissa Schwartz (@MorissaSchwartz) October 31, 2018
One person decided to play a trick on parents this year by handing out glow sticks and Play-Doh. That shit has the capability of getting everywhere.
Come at me, trick or treaters!— Katie Cunningham | Revising and posting! (@kcunning) October 31, 2018
Except for you, jerkface kid who tells me I'm doing Halloween wrong by giving out Play-Doh and glow sticks rather than candy. Pound sand. pic.twitter.com/I1Fy0H9WbD
Some just stuck to cold hard cash. Which to kids is basically like receiving four pieces of candy—no harm done here.
Some kids knocked on my door a lil late and I was expecting food delivery so when I answered the door I had a fist full of cash. Gave them each 2 dollars. Smh— Humphrey Bagtard (@cryptostand) November 1, 2018
Coins though? Now that’s just cruel.
My mum literally went to the bank to get money for the trick or treaters. They’ll be the ones in shock when they realise she’s only giving them 2ps!!! #Halloween18 #trickortrreat #frightnight pic.twitter.com/b3CV9D97LY— Parveen (@Parveen_Comms) October 31, 2018
And many handed out food. Which, I think, breaks the biggest rule of accepting Halloween candy from strangers—you only eat the prepackaged stuff that hasn’t been tampered with. Since when have trick-or-treat hosts become so bold?
They gave a hot dog to my niece when she went Trick-or-treating LMAOOO pic.twitter.com/6UUE3jKk26— (๑ᵕ⌓ᵕ̤) (@Imissmyqtgf) November 1, 2018
Took a different route in my neighborhood this year – found a house that gave away kid candy, adult candy, pop corn, hot dogs, dog treats & beer. Halloween will never be the same.— chels ♏️ (@Chelsea_Later) November 1, 2018
Listen, folks. If you’re going to go the nontraditional route with trick-or-treating giveaways, you can’t go wrong with Halloween-themed comics. Hell, I would have been thrilled to receive a Nancy Drew mini-comic as a kid… but that might’ve just been me.
This Halloween, we gave out comic books and candy.. Kids loved the comic books…….. pic.twitter.com/7mh6nqgf3l— Virginia Smith (@VaSmith12) November 1, 2018
Outdated Yu-Gi-Oh cards? Not so much.
Y’all already know wtf im giving out this halloween pic.twitter.com/eR2vmIkkRj— Jimmy Zhang (@TheJimbaslice) November 1, 2018
And on the complete opposite end of the literature spectrum are your godforsaken pocket Constitutions. Please, let us spooky souls have just one day of peace before returning to the fact that our country is ablaze.