vwyeth/Twitter Remix by Samantha Grasso

Here’s all the weird sh*t that people thought would be OK to pass out to trick-or-treaters

Not all 'treats' are created equal, Twitter's ranting Halloweeners show.

 

Samantha Grasso

IRL

Published Nov 1, 2018   Updated May 21, 2021, 2:43 am CDT

Every Halloween, trick-or-treating would end with my sister and I sorting through our bags of candy and discarding any pieces we couldn’t or didn’t want to eat—mostly because of our mild allergy to peanuts. But judging from the weird shit that trick-or-treat hosts were giving out this year, between hotdogs and toothbrushes, it looks like Kids These Days are having to do much more legwork door-to-door to get to the good stuff.

On Twitter, parents and siblings of kids who spent the evening bothering strangers for candy showed off the more “creative” objects that neighbors were gifting the youngins. From baggies of teeth flossers to soap, it appears that adults felt so emboldened to ruin Halloween, they went out of their way not to be lazy, forgoing pouring a 300-count bag of candy into a pumpkin-esque bowl.

Of course, there were the stock neighbors who wanted to make sure children weren’t going to rot their teeth this spooky season.

https://twitter.com/vwyeth/status/1057796873916964865

And ones who debated giving treaters a trick instead.

Others decided to give away Very Old Possessions that they just going bring themselves to take to the Salvation Army.

https://twitter.com/SheripetersonS/status/1057796959963152385

https://twitter.com/uhmichelita/status/1057752052003147777

And others at least kept to the theme of Halloween if they weren’t giving out candy themselves.

One person decided to play a trick on parents this year by handing out glow sticks and Play-Doh. That shit has the capability of getting everywhere.

Some just stuck to cold hard cash. Which to kids is basically like receiving four pieces of candy—no harm done here.

https://twitter.com/fizzysalinas/status/1057809932186206208

Coins though? Now that’s just cruel.

And many handed out food. Which, I think, breaks the biggest rule of accepting Halloween candy from strangers—you only eat the prepackaged stuff that hasn’t been tampered with. Since when have trick-or-treat hosts become so bold?

https://twitter.com/jacquelinenamor/status/1057834489366396928

https://twitter.com/Adebisi326/status/1057872061664845825

Listen, folks. If you’re going to go the nontraditional route with trick-or-treating giveaways, you can’t go wrong with Halloween-themed comics. Hell, I would have been thrilled to receive a Nancy Drew mini-comic as a kid… but that might’ve just been me.

Outdated Yu-Gi-Oh cards? Not so much.

And on the complete opposite end of the literature spectrum are your godforsaken pocket Constitutions. Please, let us spooky souls have just one day of peace before returning to the fact that our country is ablaze.

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*First Published: Nov 1, 2018, 9:53 am CDT