Walking Dead fans don’t need to be told to brace themselves. Most of you have been clinging on for dear life all season, waiting for the doomsday that is Negan to finally hit.
We’ve survived the governor. We’ve survived crazy, dirty Rick. (Kind of.) We’ve survived this season’s biggest threat so far: the death tease of beloved main characters. But if finales of Walking Dead past are any indicator, we’ll be feeling a whole lot of anxiety in the 90-minute episode this Sunday.
To help you cope, here are a few parting gifts that will get you through to next season. At least there’s Fear the Walking Dead, and less of that weird, commercial mini-series.
1) Walker chest plate
ThinkGeek
Might as well just aimlessly roam the Earth until next season. This very realistic chest plate will help you blend in with your post-apocalyptic surroundings.
Price on ThinkGeek: $69.99
2) The Walking Dead Monopoly
ThinkGeek
Playing Monopoly is sort of like entering a black hole, so chances are season 7 will start by the time you finish one round. There’s also Walking Dead Yahtzee if you’re not dedicated enough.
Price on ThinkGeek: $39.99
3) The Walking Dead: Compendium One
Amazon
Amazon
Finally put an end to those friends who insist on telling you everything that happened in the comics by telling them what happened first.
Price on Amazon: $35.99
4) Michonne’s Katana
ThinkGeek
There is a 99 percent chance you will have some sort of feels after the finale, unless you’re a walker, in which case this list isn’t really for you anyway. Take out some of that frustration, sadness, confusion, or all of the above by practicing your sword-swinging moves.
Price on ThinkGeek: $24.99
5) Zombie String Lights
ThinkGeek
Pick up yourself from the couch, toss out all the bottles around you and spruce up your place a bit. By the time Walking Dead starts again, you’ll be ready to start living in filth again.
Price on ThinkGeek: $24.99
6) Walking Dead lounge pants
ThinkGeek
Or don’t pick yourself up off the couch, because what’s the point? There’s no sense in changing into real clothing until the next season starts. These pants are crawling with walkers, which is exactly what you’ll smell like if you actually wear these for that long.
Price on ThinkGeek: $24.99
7) Zombie Farm Dome
ThinkGeek
Prepare for the apocalypse by doing a little gardening, and having some damn respect for Deanna. #RIP
Price on ThinkGeek: $19.99
8) A onesie for your own little Judith
ThinkGeek
If gardening’s not your jam, you could plant a different seed and help repopulate an army. Alexandria is going to need all the help they can get next season.
Price on ThinkGeek: $14.99 (Not including, like, $10 million a year for the cost of a baby.)
9) ‘Wolves not far’ pins
ThinkGeek
They may be far from the screen, but the Wolves can stay close to your heart, while you wait to find out whether the showrunners give them the same short-lived fate as the cannibals.
Price on ThinkGeek: $14.99
10) ‘If Daryl dies’ mug
ThinkGeek
I know, I KNOW. I don’t even want to think about it either. But if riots go down, we’re going to need A LOT of coffee. Also good for drinking moonshine in abandoned country clubs.
Price on ThinkGeek: $12.99
11) Lucille replica bat
Amazon
If you’re really willing to pay for it, you can brace yourself for Negan by getting to know his deadly sidekick. But, please, don’t actually be like Negan. Lucille is not thirsty.
Price on Amazon: $329.99
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Photo via Amazon