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‘That’s disrespect’: TikToker asks followers for advice after learning boyfriend masturbates to photos of Instagram influencers

She says he has a porn addiction.

 

Tricia Crimmins

IRL

Posted on Jan 13, 2022   Updated on Jan 17, 2022, 10:26 am CST

In a viral TikTok posted on Friday, user @a11over shares that her boyfriend has a porn addiction. She says, however, that she has a bigger problem with her boyfriend masturbating to images of Instagram models, TikTokers, and other influencers.

Her video asking for “advice” attracted over 953,000 views and over 3,000 comments, many of which were from women who said they understood the TikToker’s pain.

She says she understands watching porn, but “having to fantasize about other girls is what hurts so bad.”

“I don’t understand how he can say I’m enough when I feel so insufficient,” she wrote in the video’s overlay text.

https://www.tiktok.com/@a11over/video/7050270453159480581?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id7016721189293147654

In the video’s comments, @a11over wrote that she is “being understanding about the addiction.”

In 2017, the Daily Dot spoke with experts in the porn and sex addiction fields who confirmed that porn addiction is real. According to Webroot, a cybersecurity company that also creates tip-sheets pertaining to internet trends, approximately 200,000 people in the United States “are classified” as having an addiction to porn. (Verywell Mind offers additional information and resources regarding porn addiction.)

Similar to the advice given to loved ones of people who face other types of addictions, many experts recommend that people in relationships with people addicted to porn find support themselves. Furthermore, people who are partnered with people addicted to porn often question whether or not they should stay in a relationship with their loved one who is struggling.

TikToker @a11over describes such a decision in her video’s caption. “[I don’t know] what to do I don’t want to leave him,” she wrote. It seems, however, that her reaction to her boyfriend’s porn addiction is intertwined with her feelings of betrayal that he masturbates to images of women who don’t appear in porn.

“He lied and crossed a clear boundary I set,” she wrote in the video’s overlay text. “I cannot grasp how going out of ur way to fantasize about half naked girls on social media is an addiction. That’s disrespect on [so much] levels.”

Commenters on the video said they agreed and/or identified with @a11over. Many recounted their experiences with partners who either had a porn addiction or masturbated to images of women and advised @a11over about staying with her boyfriend.

“His addiction has changed his brain and the way he views women,” user @jackhawlowsloofah wrote. “[You] don’t have to stay unless he stops.”

“Ever since I got into a relationship, I completely stopped watching it,” @phiarie commented. “It’s possible and basic respect.”

“[Please] leave [him],” user @kevlnsgf commented. “[It’s] not gonna get any better I promise [you’re] gonna constantly think [about] that and [you’ll see] with the right person that this is wrong.”

@a11over responded to comments from TikTok users who said they experienced the same thing.

“Breaks my heart how normalized it’s become,” she wrote. “And [how] women are [just] expected to be okay [with] it.”

The Daily Dot reached out to @a11over via TikTok comment.


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*First Published: Jan 13, 2022, 4:00 pm CST