Guys, please stop leaving your sex toys in hotel rooms

This article contains sexually explicit material.

Everyone agrees that traveling is a huge pain in the ass. And if you’re the type of person who never leaves home without their arsenal of dildos and butt plugs, it’s probably a literal pain in the ass as well. But for the love of God, when your vacation or business trip is over and it’s time for you to check out, please, please don’t leave your sex toys behind when you go. No hotel maid in the world is compensated well enough to deal with that shit.

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According to a survey by the U.K. hotel website LateRooms.com, nearly 30 percent of all lost items left behind in hotel rooms are sex toys, including vibrators, plaster-cast penises, and even blow-up sheep. (I mean, it’s possible the sheep could’ve been used for non-lascivious purposes, such as cuddling or staging an impromptu Comfort Inn hoedown. But if I had to guess, I’d say it was likely being used for fucking.)

“Whilst we fully expected smartphones, laptops and chargers to top the list, we were really surprised by some of the more unusual items our hotel partners have come across in their rooms especially the number who regularly find abandoned sex toys,” Andrea Tarpey, who conducted the survey of 8,000 U.K. hotel managers for LateRooms.com, told the Mirror.

Of course, not all items left behind in hotel rooms have previously been in weary travelers’ cooters. In addition to more quotidian items like phones and laptops, guests have also left behind a jar of snails, an outrageously expensive watch, and, in one instance, a prosthetic limb.

But luckily, the survey reported that in most instances, a hotel will gladly return your lost items when prompted to do so. Here’s your dragon dildo, Mrs. Solomon. We hope you enjoyed your stay at the Harrisburg Sheraton. 

H/T The Mirror | Photo via Unique Hotels/Flickr (CC BY SA 2.0)

EJ Dickson

EJ Dickson

EJ Dickson is a writer and editor who primarily covers sex, dating, and relationships, with a special focus on the intersection of intimacy and technology. She served as the Daily Dot’s IRL editor from January 2014 to July 2015. Her work has since appeared in the New York Times, Rolling Stone, Mic, Bustle, Romper, and Men’s Health.