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Nearly half of millennials would rather give up sex than Amazon, survey claims
Thierry Ehrmann/Flickr (CC-BY)
Which would you give up for a year, your Amazon account or sex? Millennials that use Amazon know the answer. Nearly half would rather keep their Amazon account, according to a new report from Business Insider.
Faced with choosing between giving up sex or giving up Amazon, 44 percent of millennials would drop sex for their Amazon accounts. Likewise, 77 percent would give up alcohol over Amazon. Both statistics come from a survey conducted by the Max Borges Agency, which fielded responses from 1,108 Amazon shoppers aged 18 to 34 who purchased some form of consumer tech in the last year.
It’s not surprising that Amazon shoppers would give up sex for a year if they could spare their Amazon orders. If you’re already shopping with Amazon, chances are you’re buying a lot more than a single piece of consumer tech and calling it a day.
Nonetheless, Twitter has some questions.
WT actual F, who in the hell thought up that damn question? https://t.co/YBbRIfsVAv
— Dominic Edmunds (@DominicEdmunds) December 6, 2018
A) Why is this an article? B) Ask them if they’d quit jerking it, I guarantee the answer is no. “Almost half of millennials say they'd rather give up sex than quit Amazon for a year, according to a new survey” https://t.co/KGqDwcs4SM @businessinsider #fakenews
— Elijah Hoffman (@_elijahj) December 6, 2018
What's the percentage among millennials who are actually having sex?
— Oaf Spotter (@theoafuloffice) December 6, 2018
I thought millennials were poor https://t.co/sX3cDJoEwm
— alex lockie (@alexjlockie) December 6, 2018
Some didn’t believe it.
They are kidding😜
— Martin Varsavsky (@martinvars) December 6, 2018
— Boby (@BobySidhho) December 6, 2018
90% of millenials are just trolling when they answer questions so account for that.
— el Jefe (@StraightUpJeff) December 6, 2018
Others weren’t that surprised.
— Luke Procopio (@LukeProcopi0) December 6, 2018
Nothing seems to measure up to Prime
— Moira Studio (@MoiraStudio) December 6, 2018
because they already not having sex anyway
— The Architect (@rthiago) December 6, 2018
Either way, millennials really are the lamest generation.
— Kate Taylor (@Kate_H_Taylor) December 6, 2018
- Amazon Alexa is the home assistant you never knew you needed
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In other news, millennials aren’t having nearly as much sex as past generations. Clearly, Amazon Prime is to blame.
H/T Business Insider
Ana Valens is an LGBTQ reporter and essayist for the Daily Dot. Her work has previously appeared in Bitch, the Establishment, Vice's Waypoint, Rolling Stone's Glixel, and the Toast. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.