Getting set up on a date by a friend? Typical.
Finding friends after your disastrous date sets you up and then setting the whole date on fire? Iconic.
Lisette Pylant, a woman from Washington, D.C., who works at a local coffee shop and the Center for American Progress, shared her ingenious story of calculated revenge fit for the movie John Tucker Must Die after her date didn’t just double-book his night, but ended up scheduling dates with a total of five other women.
Taking the drama to Twitter, Pylant shared that the date had been scheduled for her birthday (which, OK, is kind of off already), and that she was set up by some friends. However, after meeting up with him at a bar where her friend works and being told by said friend that the guy’s awful, she sticks it out.
And that’s when the fun begins.
Not even an hour into the date, the man’s next date shows up, and it doesn’t stop there. A third woman shows up an hour later, turning the whole thing into a cringe-inducing group date filled with awkward small talk and jokes about who’s getting a rose at the end of the night, much like on ABC’s The Bachelor.
After Pylant and the two other women leave John Tucker and get dinner elsewhere and stick him with the bill, Pylant finds out from her bartender friends that this guy has proceeded to meet Three! More! Women! But don’t worry—they too realize just how big of a fuckboy he is and proceed to meet up with Pylant and her new BFFs, too.
Don’t miss out on any of the delicious details—read Pylant’s entire Twitter thread on the story below:
Thread alert: so I go on what I think might be a date with a guy my friends set me up on on my birthday (yes it's a bit hazy).
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
We meet up at a bar my friend works at. Said friend proceeds to text me telling me this guy sucks and I should run
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
I show up and he sucks but I figure I'll stay because my friends are working at the bar
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
So 45 mins in his next date shows up because he double books himslef and he decides he's going to friendzone me to get out of the situation
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
I decide to play the friend in order to help the girl feel less awkward until he exits for a moment and then I tell her what's up
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
We'll call this girl katie – katie gets in on my quest to make this guy feel like the fucjboy he clearly is and we chat for 30 mins
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
Then the third girl shows up – we'll call her Riley. The guy leaves again and Riley, katie, and I team up and decide to JT Must Die this sit
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
The two girls and I have now gotten both bartenders and the bouncer in on this and are taking this guy for all he's worth over here
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
https://twitter.com/LisettePylant/status/894701126859272193
Don't worry – we already asked if there's going to be a rose ceremony
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
https://twitter.com/LisettePylant/status/894705665062711296
The end
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 7, 2017
JK ITS NOT OVER! The bartender just texted us to tell us homeboy is on another date so I sent my friend over to retrieve his 8pm date
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
I'm stealing his dates and making them my friends and I'm SO HERE FOR IT pic.twitter.com/88iqDi6mfX
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
We're now all hanging out at another bar together pic.twitter.com/jasDbaDQCL
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
You guys girl number FIVE just showed up BEFORE going to meet him because my friends intercepted her and told her not to waste her time
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
My friend is now arguing with said guy and his current date (#4) about why she shouldn't waste her time and just leave
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
MRS. STEAL YOUR GIRL OVER HERE pic.twitter.com/27rY4QJ1EF
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
YA'LL (well call her allie) Allie hasn't actually met him yet & is now baiting him that she's still on her way but we've already stolen her
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
https://twitter.com/LisettePylant/status/894726734234308609
Girl #5 "allie" has headed over with her gbff
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
HE TOLD DATE NUMBER 5 THAT SHE WAS ALREADY CUT AND TO SAY HI TO ME AT THE BAR WHEN SHE I VITED HIM TO COME DRINK WITH US
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
Went outside to make a call and ran into him leaving #5. He then tells me I'm the only one he wants to get to know still but that I should
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
Tell him if he should just fuck off. I tell him there's a difference between being efficient and being an asshole and he goes into "well im
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
"…A project manager, I manage my time efficiently." And I say there's no way to know someone in 40 mins of you have 5 dates lined up
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
He didn't seem to like that and resigned himself to the fact that I wanted to walk away laughing at him
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
My friend walked over and told #5 what was up, got her number and this was their convo pic.twitter.com/y30UP261d5
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
YALL COME TO @ANXOcider! The bartenders are rad and have had our back all night. This bar is LIT
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE pic.twitter.com/czEzuPyqEI
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
He tried to say he was looking for love and his future wife. These "weren't dates" they were apparently "pre-date conversations"
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
GUYS I DONT EVEN USE DATING APPS! This is wild
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
https://twitter.com/LisettePylant/status/894746299571949569
WE WENT BACK AND HE WAS WITH #6!
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
He finally realized he wasn't winning and just walked out. #6 and her mom and aunt are now our new best friends
— Lisette Pylant (@LisettePylant) August 8, 2017
Sorry, dudes—no matter how “efficient” you think you’re being in setting up six whole freaking dates in one night, you’re really just asking to be ousted over the thirsty bro you truly are.