woman speaking looking left hand up fingers together (l) Health Insurance paperwork scattered (c) woman speaking hand on chin caption "Part 2 with how you handled this" "then... she wouldn't give me any more into & I hung up changed insurance... again" (r)

vinnstock/Shutterstock @carolinevencil/TikTok @carolinevencil/TikTok

‘How about you transfer me over to someone else who isn’t sexist’: Woman says insurance company refused to speak to her without talking to her husband first—even though she’s the primary insured

'They must have literally just seen a man’s name and were like, ‘he must be the primary,’ and put him first.'


Braden Bjella


Posted on Jun 26, 2022

A woman on TikTok recently went viral after claiming her insurance company refused to speak to her without first speaking to her husband—despite the fact that she was the primary insured.

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In a two-part TikTok, user Caroline (@carolinevencil) explains her situation. She says that the insurance company was calling to clarify a clerical issue that had no private information. Nonetheless, she claims they refused to divulge further information to her about her account without first getting her husband’s permission.

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The first video of this series has over 16,000 views, while the second received over 213,000 views as of Sunday.

@carolinevencil This is a teue story. And I hate it here. #womenentrepreneurs #wahm #workingmom #workingmomlife #bizgoals #bizcoach #businesscoach #businesswomen #entrepreneur #entrepreneurlife #adulting101 #graphicdesigner #onlinebusiness #onlinebusinessowner #blogger #blogging #blogcoach #wahmlife ♬ Monkeys Spinning Monkeys – Kevin MacLeod & Kevin The Monkey

In the first video, Caroline says she is the “primary breadwinner” of the house. After moving with her husband to a new state, she signed them both up for health insurance, listing herself as the primary.

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Even though she was listed as the primary on all documents, she says that she soon received a phone call from the company asking for her husband.

“I got a phone call to my phone asking for my husband,” she says. “And they won’t speak to me. They want to speak to my husband.”

In a follow-up video, Caroline offers more information about the situation, including how she dealt with it.

@carolinevencil Reply to @consistentcontentco #wahmlife #wahm #workingmom #workingmomlife #bizgoals #bizcoach #blogger #entrepreneur #onlinemarketing #entrepreneurcoach #onlinebusiness #wahmtiktok #graphicdesigner #onlinebusinessowner #womeninbiz #womenentrepreneur #womenentrepreneurs ♬ Monkeys Spinning Monkeys – Kevin MacLeod & Kevin The Monkey
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“Nowhere did I say that he was the primary,” she says. “They must have literally just seen a man’s name and were like, ‘he must be the primary,’ and put him first.”

Caroline then recounts the phone call. She says the insurance company asked to speak with her husband. When she refused to put him on the phone, she was put on hold. The insurance company representative returned from hold and asked again to speak with her husband to make sure it was “okay to talk to [her].” Caroline says she still refused and ended the call.

In the text overlaying the video, Caroline says that she has since changed her insurance.

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She also added in the comments that none of the information being divulged would be a HIPAA violation, nor did they have any claims filed that may apply solely to her husband.

Viewers shared similar stories in the comments section of her first video.

“I’ve been the sole income provider for our family for almost 8 years. That won’t change. Also no matter how many times you list him first for kid stuff they will call you first,” one user wrote. “It’s insane to me.”

“Self-employed, not married, sole owner of the house, and the window people told me I had to have my husband here to sign the papers for new windows,” a second claimed.

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“Happens to every single account i open with us both on it,” a third alleged. “Doesnt matter what company and i hate it.”

Others offered potential responses for other users put in this situation.

“I would’ve told her, ‘I have an even better idea. How about you transfer me over to someone else who isn’t sexist,’” one commenter suggested.

“Ask if you can speak to their father. It’s fun to hear their response,” another offered.

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We’ve reached out to Caroline via Instagram DM.

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*First Published: Jun 26, 2022, 12:19 pm CDT