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How to have sex with vegetables and other homemade toys
Do try this at home.
If you’re looking for ways to spice up your love life, you might be inclined to order fancy toys online. But some of the most exciting toys can be found, and made, right at home. Before you shell out big bucks for a new plaything, check out our handy guide to homemade sex toys.
Homemade sex toys for when you’re solo
If you like to get your buzz on, plenty of household gadgets double as handy vibes. Electric toothbrushes, like the Philips Sonicare ($20 on Amazon), can deliver pleasurable sensations to all your sensitive parts. And they have removable, replaceable heads, which is perfect for obvious sanitary purposes.
Electric face brushes are also a handy way to send gentle waves of pleasure through all your most intimate areas. Look for one that has a nice ergonomic design like this wildly affordable Chitronic ($8 on Amazon).
And, of course, most cell phones come with a vibrating alert option, perfect for solo or couples play.
It should come as no surprise that plenty of the shapes found in nature also make excellent tools for penetration (hello, eggplant emoji!). Using a box of condoms and fresh produce from your pantry, you can have a treasure trove of new friends in no time flat.
Our favorite girthy vegetables and fruits include cucumbers, carrots, zucchini, and, of course, eggplants. Sheath the fruit or veggie of your choice in a condom (you don’t want whatever was sprayed on the veggies inside of you) and enjoy!
Or you can take that condom, add water, and a cardboard tube, and make yourself an ice dildo. Follow this handy guide to make everything from a slick phallus to a textured, bumpy, or ridged new ride.
If you’re looking for something tasty to penetrate, melons will do, just cut the hole first. Also, for dudes, a banana peel makes a good masturbation sleeve.
Just don’t forget about your nipples. You can also use a combination of hot and cold to create a fun, homemade nipple sucker. Chill a damp towel or cloth in the freezer. While the towel chills, take a glass bottle like an old Snapple and soak it in very hot water for a few minutes. Put a little lube or coconut oil around your nipples. Then, quickly remove the bottle from the hot water, place the opening over your nipple, and wrap the bottle in the frozen towel. The temperature difference will create suction that pulls your nipples into the bottle. Be sure to exercise caution when handling the glass.
Homemade sex toys for couples
On that note, one of the easiest ways to jazz up your bedtime routine is through hot or cold sensation play. If you want to ramp up the heat, start with wax candles. Tall votives are great for dripping small amounts of hot wax onto your partner’s skin.
If you want to get into more advanced heated play, try paraffin ($8 on Amazon). This reliable wax is sold in large blocks and its shelf-life is near-limitless. One block could last you a year or more, depending on how often you and your lover want to turn up the heat. Simply place it in a double boiler and use a wooden spoon to drip the melted wax onto yourself or a partner.
For cold rushes that will send tingles down your spine, good old-fashioned ice cubes are a fun and versatile bedroom treat. Use them on your skin and apply delicately to sensitive areas. For extra fun, use a sleep mask or blindfold to tease and thrill your partner.
Feathers are also a terrific way to explore sensation play and they’re available by the bagful at any craft store. Feather dusters and cat toys are also excellent for teasing the skin with an extra delicate touch.
If you want to tie your partner down while you tickle, your closet is likely already full of all the bondage tools you’ll need. Neckties, scarves, and belts make excellent restraints. And if you’re feeling adventurous and want to tie up your package (or your partner’s), a spare shoelace does just the trick.
You can always ramp up the intensity, too. Do you or your partner enjoy spankings? A hairbrush, spoon, spatula, or belt will leave a bottom happily sore.
Just remember, while finding and assembling homemade sex toys can be heaps of fun, it’s important to always put safety first. You should never use anything that can break off into sharp or jagged pieces for penetration, especially for anal play, as it could result in injury and a decidedly unsexy trip to the E.R.