Beth Cook is a dating coach and wing-woman who throws private dating events for San Francisco’s most awesome and unattached. She also writes and draws about her own dating experiences and would love to hear from you. Want advice? Have advice? Send her an email.
If you want to know if you really like someone, travel with them. I’m talkin’ the kind of trip where you have to lug a bunch of stuff to and fro, navigate foreign streets and train stations, and where—inevitably—one or more things goes drastically wrong (lazy beach vacations and bed and breakfast getaways don’t count).
And if you really, really want to know if you like someone, take them on a family trip.
I just brought my boyfriend on a ten-day, whirlwind family trip. Nine of us set out overseas, and explored six different cities in ten days. We slept only a fraction of the time we’re used to, hauled our luggage to a new hotel nearly every night (packing and unpacking each time), and let our freak flags fly wild (we’re an eccentric bunch).
And weirdly, nothing happened. The trip went brilliantly!
What was our secret? I’m about to tell you…
1. RESEARCH
Discuss with your S.O. who will be on the trip, what your relationship is with them, what their interests are, etc. Look them up on Facebook and LinkedIn. No one wants to walk into a family tribunal blind.
2. LEAVE YOUR ISSUES AT HOME
Work out any current issues before the trip OR take a vacation from your issues. Neither of you will enjoy the trip through quarrels. Nor will your family.
3. STAY IN YOUR OWN ROOM
Make sure you arrange your own sleeping quarters prior to the trip. Say ‘no’ to shared suites and pull-out beds. Having a private place to retreat and gather oneself is key.
4. BE FLEXIBLE
Go with the flow, man. Bring your high-maintenance self down to low- and take whatever comes your way. The less of an agenda you have for the trip, the better. Let things unfold naturally.
5. BE A RESOURCE
Bring an iPad, Kindle, or smart phone that works overseas. Use this travel opportunity to be an invaluable resource. Look up maps, find your location via GPS, download ebooks about your destinations, read restaurant reviews on Trip Advisor, and pull up foreign language dictionaries.
6. DRINK A LOT
Unless you have an angry drunk in your lot, keeping everyone sauced is the way to keep everyone smiling. To look sophisticated while doing so, order champagne with breakfast, wine or beer with lunch, and whatever the hell you want for dinner and beyond.
7. ACT AS A BUFFER
Keep an eye on each other; you’re on the same team. When one of you is getting annoyed by a person or situation, the other one should step in and deter conflict by making a light-hearted joke, changing the conversation, etc.
8. HAVE LOTS OF SEX
The more physically and emotionally connected you feel to each other, the easier it is to navigate bumps in the road.
9. CONTRIBUTE CONVERSATIONALLY
Make sure to participate; add something to group chatter and strike up conversations with individuals. If you don’t share any interests with someone, get curious about them and find common ground (i.e. what you’re enjoying on the trip).
10. CONTRIBUTE FINANCIALLY
If you’re an S.O. traveling on the family’s dime, buy a round of drinks here and there—maybe even dinner. It’s a nice gesture, a small expense in comparison, and it makes everyone feel good.
11. POLITELY BREAK FROM THE GROUP
To maintain your sanity, break away from the group here and there. Take a little time as a couple to visit a museum or have a meal without the others. Be sure to ask everyone else about their day when you return.
There you have it. 11 ways a couple can have an awesome time traveling with family.
Photo by Ben Husmann