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This Valentine’s Day, get your lover the gift of a chocolate butthole
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.
This article contains sexually explicit material.
Flowers and candies might say “I love you,” but nothing says “I want you to lick me where the sun don’t shine” like a box of puckered chocolate anuses.
If you’re looking for something a little extra this Valentine’s Day, drop your man the most obvious hint ever with Edible Anus, a novelty website that sells boxes of chocolate buttholes.
Really. For $39.95, you can buy your partner a box of five chocolate candies modeled after anuses.
The candies are available in different flavors, including white and dark chocolate, which is how butts actually taste IRL, right?
One problem with the anus chocolates: They don’t actually resemble anuses. They look like dried-up halves of apricot pits, or baby birds’ mouths. There’s no butt shape to put that balloon knot in context.
But if you’ve tried and failed to send your lover the hint to add tossed salad to the menu, these chocolates will give him the message loud and clear.
H/T Jezebel | Photo by Marit and Toomas Hinnosaur/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)
EJ Dickson is a writer and editor who primarily covers sex, dating, and relationships, with a special focus on the intersection of intimacy and technology. She served as the Daily Dot’s IRL editor from January 2014 to July 2015. Her work has since appeared in the New York Times, Rolling Stone, Mic, Bustle, Romper, and Men’s Health.