These ‘d*ck appointment’ YouTube makeup tutorials are what you need for the holidays

In the heat of the moment, while getting it good from your partner, perhaps the last thing you’re thinking about is how you look. But it always comes back to haunt you when you finally arise from bed, determined to pee and avoid a UTI, and you catch a glimpse of your faded, patchy lipstick and smeared highlighter.

Thank god, beauty vloggers have been chronicling their own solutions to “post dick appointment makeup emergencies,” publishing videos of makeup tutorials, aka clips of themselves getting ready to get nasty with that special someone.

https://twitter.com/lizzoaw/status/1067596633876176896

https://twitter.com/rottedtwink/status/1067087215472328704

https://twitter.com/duchesss_samia/status/1067644265705234433

Just a quick search of “dick appointment makeup tutorial” on YouTube reveals there’s no shortage of explainers on how to create a simple but semi-permanent look that will resist the wear and tear of lovemaking. And while your own “dick appointment” may have no dick in sight, these videos at least provide a helpful guide for keeping your eye makeup in place as you get busy.

According to Mashable, the video genre popularized earlier this month after “men’s rights” activist Roosh V complained about such videos on Twitter. Much to his dissatisfaction, not everyone was as excited to slut shame beauty YouTubers for the benefit of right-wing vloggers as he was.

https://twitter.com/uninsides/status/1059960932053463040

Some tutorials are less involved, evoking the “get ready with me” style of video with shorter explanations and less analysis of the products—perfect for when you find yourself penciling in a last-minute appointment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qQOCuSX-XU

Others go through the whole process and explain a designated look, such as YouTuber Sarah Cheung’s “Hollywood glam meets dick appointment” Valentine’s night face.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1bsablUNcE

And some really go there, taking a leap beyond the makeup tutorial and giving pre-coital viewers a step-by-step guide for preparing for the whole appointment, from cleaning your living space, to showering, to setting your makeup.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH5LhWVLwKs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWNT9QqjuH4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYE42qvM6BE

As Mashable also points out, these YouTube tutorials aren’t just helpful for getting your makeup together, but your sexual health, too. However, you’ll probably want to check over some of these pointers with health professionals before following through on such YouTuber advice—because when it comes to scheduling dick appointments, safety is key.

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H/T PopBuzz