A woman talking to camera.


‘This is why dating is miserable’: TikToker’s date picks up the check—then scolds her about having to pay

'This has to be a joke.'


Tricia Crimmins


Posted on Dec 30, 2021   Updated on Jan 4, 2022, 9:26 am CST

In a viral TikTok posted this week, @__nikk1 says that after a great first date, a man bailed on their second date and then told her that she took advantage of him financially.

After @__nikk1 followed up about their second date plans, her date never responded. He then sent her a text days later that didn’t mention his lack of response previously. After she asks him what happened and why he didn’t respond, he said he didn’t feel any urgency to see her again because she “excused [herself] when the check came for dinner and then also drinks.”

“I hate when girls do that,” he texted @__nikk1. “It’s exceptionally rude and cheap; and really disrespectful and I felt like you really didn’t care despite what I felt from you.”

She tells him that leaving him with the check wasn’t her intentional and that she didn’t even realize she had done so. She also tells viewers that she paid for her own ice cream on the date: “I wish you had communicated that with me sooner if that was an issue so I could’ve set the record straight.”

He then tells her that she “picked the restaurant; ordered what [she] liked, and then never offered to pay for it.”

“He picked the restaurant and made the reservation,” @__nikk1 says. “Of course I ordered what I liked. What am I going to do? Order something I don’t like?”


Her date also texted her that “just because [he] has a fucking trust trust fund” doesn’t mean he “likes to use it to cover other girls drinks.”

In a follow up video, @__nikk1 shows texts messages that show her date picking the restaurant, and the pair discussing a second date.

“If you had these red flags from me,” she says, “And you think I ‘intentionally got up’ and left you with the check, why would you want to try again?”

Commenters on both videos sided with @__nikk1.

“This has to be a joke, where’s the cameras?” wrote @anggoquendo.

“I have never been more grossed out in my life,” commented @hsho_xo.

“I get guys [appreciate] when women offer to pay but that was a bit dramatic of him,” wrote @mariem0603.

Others said that it was good that @__nikk1 saw her date’s true colors before potentially seeing him again.

“Oh sis you dodged a bullet,” commented @daniellerutz.

The Daily Dot has reached out to @__nikk1.

Update 9:25am CT, Jan. 4: In a TikTok direct message, @__nikk1 told the Daily Dot that she posted the video to entertain viewers and also make them aware that gaslighting exists in the casual dating scene. “He didn’t have this issue until I confronted him about ghosting me,” she told the Daily Dot. “He actually wanted to try asking me out again and the only time he brought this up was after I created a boundary and told him he couldn’t just re-enter my life after ghosting me for no good reason.”

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*First Published: Dec 30, 2021, 4:55 pm CST