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Airport security deems cupcake a weapon of mass deliciousness
A Wicked Good Cupcake’s layers of gel-like chocolate icing was deemed a violation of safety guidelines by the Transportation Security Administration. Hilarity ensued.
Rebecca Hains didn’t expect to cause a terrorist incident when she stowed a Wicked Good Cupcake in her bag, but then, it’s hard to fly under the radar with a lethal treat nowadays.
According to the Transportation Securtiy Administration (TSA) blog, the cupcake’s three luscious layers of gel-like chocolate icing violated safety guidelines against the amount of liquid passengers are allowed to carry onto a plane—as well as the USDA allowable limits for sugar and awesomeness. God forbid someone should try to fly with a DQ Buster Bar. (Dairy Queen did not respond to requests for comment.)
“The Code Red Velvet: Cupcakes of Mass Destruction” has over 7,000 views on Youtube.com.
Gawker has an exhaustive roundup of other official threats to public safety, including sombreros and instant soup. (Although they left out the TSA agent whose gun rolled down the aisle of the plane, and the time I tried to take aromatherapy aboard a flight to California. Both, obviously, equal threats, although the gun was not confiscated and the lavender oil was.)
On the DailyWhat Hains explained how cupcake-gate is an infringement of our civil liberties:
It’s not really about the cupcake; I can get another cupcake. It’s about an encroachment on civil liberties. We’re just building up a resistance and tolerance to all these things they’re doing in the name of security, when it’s really theater. It is not keeping us safe.
She quickly started a CupcakeThreat page on Facebook, which has collected 279 Likes as of this writing. There, she stated, “Just got off the phone with CNN reporter who is running a piece in an hour or two. She said: ‘This story is about to blow up… well, not literally…!’”
The War on Calories has just begun!
Lorraine Murphy is an Ottawa-based cybersecurity journalist and founding editor of the Cryptosphere. She has a keen interest in WikiLeaks and web culture, and her bylines have appeared in Salon, Vanity Fair, Serious Eats, and elsewhere.