Nothing says ‘We’re over’ like sending someone an I Want To Grow Old Without You package.
Are you thinking of breaking up with your significant other before Valentine’s Day but you’re struggling to just come right out and say “It’s not you, it’s me”? Well, there’s not an app for that. But there is a service that is willing to do the dirty work—for a price.
Vift is an online service that lets you make a “video gift message.” One of their services offered this Valentine’s Day—ending your relationship for you—is being billed as “a compassionate way to end things.” (It remains to be seen whether those on the receiving end of one of these gifts would feel the same.) 65107
There are three different packages you can send your soon-to-be-ex, depending on the message you want to convey. The most cost effective package is called “I’m Not Ready To Be In A Profile Picture With You” package. For $50, your boyfriend or girlfriend will receive a box of tissues, a three-month subscription to Netflix and a personal video message of your own making to be sent via text or email when the package arrives.
If you are looking to send a stronger message, you could opt for the “We’re Perfect… For Other People” package. It includes a box of tissues, a 12-Month Netflix subscription, a Snuggie blanket, a dozen roses and a box of chocolates. For a mere $250, you can rest assured your ex mends his broken heart all wrapped up in a Snuggie.
If neither of these options is extravagant enough to send the message that this relationship is o-v-e-r, you might want to try the “I Want To Grow Old Without You” package. The $3,500 price tag will help send your ex on a seven-day Alaskan cruise with Princess Cruises. It sends the message of “get out of my life and out to sea.” Harsh, but at least he will get some great Instagram pics of polar bears.
As Vift puts it, “Not all love is forever, so end it the right way. Send them a final Valentine’s day gift—along with a video that says “Bye Felicia!” Even if your ex is not named Felicia, the message is still applicable.
It’s important to remember, however, that there is an alternative to all of this. You can go to your significant other’s house, tell them why it’s not working, and end things in a civilized manner. The best part? That option is free.
Photo via Jackie/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)