Cinco de Mayo

Photo via S Pakhrin/Wikimedia Commons

Well, that’s one way to commemorate the Franco-Mexican War.

Cinco de Mayo is a day ripe with thin PR pitches trying to connect whatever product they’re shilling to the Franco-Mexican War. But rest easy, PR companies, because you’ve all been outdone by porn site Brazzers, which is offering free Spanish-language porn on Thursday in honor of the holiday.

“Cinco de Mayo is a time to celebrate can-do Spanish spirit, though more traditionally, it is celebrated in commemoration of the Battle of Puebla in 1862 when Mexican troops held their homeland successfully and defeated French imperialists despite being outnumbered two to one,” Brazzers Product Director Mario Nardstein said in a press release. “We wanted to translate this can-do spirit into an effort to motivate others to learn another language by mixing it with something they’ll be likely to pay attention to—sex.”

Putting aside the fact that “Spanish” and “Mexican” do not mean the same thing, Brazzers is also running a contest for anyone who takes them up on their offer of free porn. Just tweet @brazzers with your favorite Spanish phrase learned from watching your free Spanish porn (because you’re obviously paying attention to the dialog) and you could win some free merchandise or autographs.


Look, America has a language problem. While being bi- or trilingual is de rigueur in the rest of the world, I, being an American, have no idea what de rigueur means and am frankly surprised I spelled it right on my first try. Plus, our version of celebrating Cinco de Mayo involves mistaking the holiday for a celebration of Mexican independence (that’s September 16) and drowning ourselves in margaritas while wearing offensive costumes. So if watching porn piques our interest about another culture or language, well, happy Cinco de Mayo!

Unclick
I celebrated Cinco de Mayo at Taco Bell
Just wanted to start my day off right.
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