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‘Outright disrespectful’: Bisexual creator called out for saying lesbians are ‘scary’

‘Not being attracted to men in a patriarchal society will never be a privilege.’


Tricia Crimmins


A TikToker is facing major backlash for a video in which they say that “talking to lesbian women” as a bisexual is “scary.”

Capri (@capricampeau), who calls themselves a “fairy bimother” (a play on fairy godmother), posted a TikTok last weekend with their hypotheses about why bisexual women and/or femme people date men more often than women.

In it, they say that bisexuals tend to date men because of “socialization, statistics, and fear.” They say women are socialized to date men, and there are more straight men than queer women—meaning bisexual women are approached by straight men more frequently.

“We don’t know how to do it,” Capri says of bisexuals talking to lesbians. “There is some rhetoric … that says [lesbians] don’t like [bisexuals].”

Capri has now deleted their video. Duets with the clip still exist, including one posted by Fiona Moar (@ms.moar.you.know), who identifies as bisexual. Moar said that Capri’s video “perfectly describes” her experience, and commenters on her video agreed. User @lostinthedarkness78 wrote that the TikTok was “nothing but truth,” and @jaxonstellanfenris said it was “so accurate.”

@ms.moar.you.know #duet with @capricampeau this perfectly describes the struggle 😅 thank youuu 😘 #bi #bitheway #lgbtqtiktok #biwifeenergy ♬ Carrying Your Love – David Morris

Since Capri posted their video, it has received dozens of stitches from queer users discussing the TikToker’s comments. Many have pushed back against Capri’s assertion that lesbians are “scary” to talk to.

One stitch, from queer TikToker @shmickeyshh, asks Capri if lesbians are “meaner and scarier” and “more biphobic” than straight men—”because I think the fuck not,” @shmickeyshh says.

“Ditch the stereotype that lesbians are inherently mean and scary,” @shmickeyshh says. “It’s rude and weird.”

Some used humor in their replies to Capri’s points about lesbians: In a stitch of Capri’s video, the TikToker says, “Do you know how scary it is to talk to lesbians as a bisexual?” Lesbian Tiktoker @femmenadia pops into the frame and says, “Boo!” Another lesbian TikToker, @notadirtyword, screams at the camera in her stitch. In the video’s overlay text, they wrote, “[Trigger warning]: scary lesbian.”

Others felt that Capri’s video described lesbians as oppressing bisexuals.

In her stitch of Capri’s viral TikTok, lesbian TikToker @captainmooseknuckles tells bisexuals not to blame lesbians for their insecurities and “lack of game” when talking to lesbians. In an interview with the Daily Dot, @captainmooseknuckles explained that the stereotype of lesbians being mean makes them out to be the “oppressor of other sapphics,” like pansexuals and/or bisexuals.

“[Capri centered] cis men and made the conversation instead about bisexuality and validating the label,” @captainmooseknuckles told the Daily Dot. “And how ‘it’s the mean lesbians fault that [bisexuals] are not/will not/can not date women.’”

@captainmooseknuckles also said that blaming lesbians for bisexuals not dating women is “lazy, insensitive, and outright disrespectful.”

Similarly, lesbian TikToker @aalijaawijaa explained that “lesbians do not have systemic power over bisexual women—especially bisexual cis women” in their stitch of Capri’s TikTok.

“Not being attracted to men in a patriarchal society will never be a privilege,” @aalijaawijaa says in their TikTok.

In an interview with the Daily Dot, @aalijaawijaa said that while they “sympathized” with Capri “as a person in the United States that’s been affected by our cisheteropatriarchy,” they found Capri’s “needless scapegoating of lesbians” unnecessary and “made it seem like lesbians are the keepers of sapphic relationships.”

“Which is just not the case,” @aalijaawijaa told the Daily Dot.

Capri did not immediately respond to the Daily Dot’s request for comment via email. They said they took a “little mental health vacation from social media” this past week.

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