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- Laura Ingraham, Dinesh D’Souza slam journalist for having a job Friday 1:40 PM
- Netflix is testing a cheap-as-hell mobile-only plan Friday 1:08 PM
- Astrology app Co-Star’s bizarre push notifications are now a meme Friday 12:18 PM
- ‘The Dirt’ offers a sanitized history of Mötley Crüe—but why? Friday 11:42 AM
- ‘The Dirt’ director Jeff Tremaine on Mötley Crüe’s long, difficult road to Netflix Friday 11:30 AM
- Here’s video of yet another alleged gunman looking for YouTuber Adam22 Friday 11:09 AM
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- Jared Kushner used WhatsApp for official White House business Friday 10:50 AM
- Unsettled Tom memes are on the rise Friday 10:36 AM
- Trans student nominated for prom king told by administration to run for queen Friday 10:07 AM
- Trump turns on his favorite cable news network Friday 8:56 AM
- Skillshare is offering new users one month of premium for less than $1 Friday 8:34 AM
Time to add some spice to that résumé.
This article contains sexually explicit content.
Because amateur Yelp reviews of brothels just aren’t cutting it, a Berlin-based website wants to hire a pro to have (safe) sex with the city’s (legal) prostitutes and rate the quality of their services. Please do not trample over one another to click on the job posting.
“Kaufmich.com is a social network for sex workers, clients, brothels and companies in erotic environment,” the translated version of the ad explains. “With a young team (about 25 people) and a flat hierarchy, working conditions are very pleasant and marked by the life of a startup. Kaufmich.com is part of an international group of companies with more than 120 employees in Germany, China and Spain, offering realistic development and career opportunities.”
So far, so normal. Then we get to the specific duties the lucky guy—or gal!—is expected to carry out: “Test brothels for service, cleanliness and compliance with safe sex practices. You enjoy sex with various women and then create a score” to be published on Kaufmich. You’ll also be attending events like “bukkake parties and gang bangs.” Dress appropriately!
Among the requirements for the position (heh) are a business degree—“preferably” in hotels—as well as fluent German and maybe French, good hygiene, working knowledge of quality management systems, and a flair for “working with people.” It couldn’t hurt if you could boast “practical experience from several years of brothel visits,” either. But don’t dawdle: Applications are due by month’s end! Yes, you can use me as a reference.
H/T Mirror | Photo via greybeard39/Flickr (CC BY ND 2.0)
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'