- Panama Papers law firm sues Netflix over ‘The Laundromat’ 5 Years Ago
- ‘Motherless Brooklyn’ is a gorgeous noir with little below the surface Today 1:14 PM
- Jameela Jamil and Sara Sampaio got in a Twitter feud over ‘long-starved’ models Today 12:52 PM
- Freddie Prinze Jr. will straight-up school you about the Force don’t @ him Today 12:18 PM
- Woman hosts Instagram funeral after she ‘killed’ $102K in student debt Today 11:45 AM
- YouTube beats Netflix as go-to streaming platform for teens Today 11:41 AM
- The tallest man in America posts emotional YouTube video from hospital room Today 11:31 AM
- Nintendo Switch subreddit implodes amid Hong Kong protests Today 11:14 AM
- Biden yelling at Warren becomes relatable workplace meme Today 10:33 AM
- Tulsi Gabbard was conservatives’ favorite debater Today 10:07 AM
- ‘Rogue One’ co-writer to direct several episodes, write the pilot for Cassian Andor series Today 9:50 AM
- ‘The Two Popes’: Anthony Hopkins and Jonathan Pryce shine in Netflix’s pope comedy Today 8:57 AM
- AOC, ‘Squad’ to endorse Bernie Sanders Today 8:44 AM
- ‘Ghosts of Sugar Land’ explores what happens if your friend joins ISIS Today 7:00 AM
- Andrew Yang upset porn fans with his criticism of Bing Tuesday 10:34 PM
‘Brothel tester’ is a real job you can get in Germany, apparently
Time to add some spice to that résumé.
This article contains sexually explicit content.
Because amateur Yelp reviews of brothels just aren’t cutting it, a Berlin-based website wants to hire a pro to have (safe) sex with the city’s (legal) prostitutes and rate the quality of their services. Please do not trample over one another to click on the job posting.
“Kaufmich.com is a social network for sex workers, clients, brothels and companies in erotic environment,” the translated version of the ad explains. “With a young team (about 25 people) and a flat hierarchy, working conditions are very pleasant and marked by the life of a startup. Kaufmich.com is part of an international group of companies with more than 120 employees in Germany, China and Spain, offering realistic development and career opportunities.”
So far, so normal. Then we get to the specific duties the lucky guy—or gal!—is expected to carry out: “Test brothels for service, cleanliness and compliance with safe sex practices. You enjoy sex with various women and then create a score” to be published on Kaufmich. You’ll also be attending events like “bukkake parties and gang bangs.” Dress appropriately!
Among the requirements for the position (heh) are a business degree—“preferably” in hotels—as well as fluent German and maybe French, good hygiene, working knowledge of quality management systems, and a flair for “working with people.” It couldn’t hurt if you could boast “practical experience from several years of brothel visits,” either. But don’t dawdle: Applications are due by month’s end! Yes, you can use me as a reference.
H/T Mirror | Photo via greybeard39/Flickr (CC BY ND 2.0)
Miles Klee is a novelist and web culture reporter. The former editor of the Daily Dot’s Unclick section, Klee’s essays, satire, and fiction have appeared in Lapham’s Quarterly, Vanity Fair, 3:AM, Salon, the Awl, the New York Observer, the Millions, and the Village Voice. He's the author of two odd books of fiction, 'Ivyland' and 'True False.'