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Slash open all correspondence with this Zelda Master Sword letter opener

The sword of evil (and paper’s) bane.


Jaime Carrillo

Dot Recs

Published Nov 6, 2017   Updated May 22, 2021, 12:04 pm CDT

Junk mail deserves nothing but a sharp piercing from a mythical blade. This Master Sword letter opener slays enemies and envelopes alike.

This letter opener sits in a pedestal, just like the one in the Temple of Time. Removing it won’t age you seven years, but it may just give you a rush of power. It’s the Master Sword, after all. The blade from blue handle to monster-slaying tip is almost seven inches long, which will dispatch your mail easier than a hoard of Bokoblins. Keep it in its pedestal when it’s not in use, just in case Ganon gets any ideas.

The Master Sword letter opener is available on ThinkGeek for $19.99.

Buy it here


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*First Published: Nov 6, 2017, 12:38 pm CST