Mike Pompeo pipehitters

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‘Did Mike Pompeo become a spokesman for crack?!’: Internet revels in Pompeo’s call for Americans to become ‘pipehitters’

The jokes practically wrote themselves.


Claire Goforth


Posted on Jun 16, 2021   Updated on Jun 18, 2021, 11:25 am CDT

Mike Pompeo has served as director of the Central Intelligence Agency and as secretary of state. Apparently, these positions don’t require much marketing experience. Because Pompeo’s new lingo for “conservative” is inspiring laughter across the internet.

Pompeo wants the big, bad right-wingers fighting the “radical Left’s agenda” to call themselves “pipehitters.”

This is not a drill.

On Tuesday, Pompeo’s new political action committee, CAVPAC (“cav” is short for “cavalry”) tweeted a call to action in the form of a question: “Are you a pipehitter?”

The tweet included an apparently made-up definition of pipehitter. CAVPAC defines pipehitter as “someone who is unapologetically American, someone who fights for our future, someone who never gives an inch, someone who is dedicated to stand against the radical Left’s agenda.”

Pompeo quote tweeted his PAC.

“Calling all unapologetic Americans to join me and become a Pipehitter,” he posted.

Pompeo and CAVPAC’s call to action may as well have been a call to be ridiculed. It wasn’t unlike the time Pompeo was roasted for tweeting a “department of swagger” seal.

“And I’M calling the even MORE unapologetic Americans to join me and become a Poledancer. Let’s work it, babies!” Bill Corbett quipped.

Naturally, there were many, many jokes about drugs, and a few about fellatio, many of which were homophobic.

“American Exceptionalism is some dangerous shit to freebase,” commented reporter Spencer Ackerman.

Mike Pompeo Pipehitters memes


Others thought a bit outside the pipe jokes.

Talking Points Memo’s Josh Marshall pointed out that not only does pipehitter not mean what Pompeo claims it does, there’s actually already a pipehitter foundation helmed by accused war criminal Eddie Gallagher. (There’s also a merchandise company.)

Like Marshall, some noted that one of the word’s actual meanings refers to elite members of the armed services. Some opined that Pompeo is using the military as a prop by appropriating the term.

Mostly people just laughed.

Drugs by far dominated the discourse about Pompeo’s pipehitters.

“Wait… did Mike Pompeo become a spokesman for crack?!?” wondered John Henson.

Pompeo, either oblivious to the ridicule or reveling in it, continues unironically tweeting about becoming a pipehitter.

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*First Published: Jun 16, 2021, 10:46 am CDT