What if the next Anaconda movie was set in the U.S. Senate? I know you’re already ready to buy a ticket, so I’ve got good news.
A new children’s coloring book called “Cruz to the Future” starring Ted Cruz, an assumed 2016 Republican presidential candidate, features an 8-page supplement called “Ted Saves America” in which, among other things, Cruz fights a swarm of enormous aggressive snakes representing Obamacare, high taxes, illegal immigration, injustice, and lawlessness.
It’s “an educational supplement,” publisher Really Big Coloring Books explains, but “it does not constitute an endorsement of Ted Cruz.” The publisher says the book was the number one selling coloring book on Amazon for “about 20 weeks.”
“The coloring book is based on a fair an objective review on this positive role model and real life super hero.”
The rest of the pictures—like Cruz and his family walking into the White House in 2016—are equally “not” an endorsement but nothing really touching the fever-dream politics of the mutated killer snakes.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a glass of water. The snakes will return. They always do. Hissssssssssss.