CIA offers to help Agents Mulder and Scully prove the existence of UFOs

Is the U.S. government concealing evidence of extraterrestrial visitors to the planet Earth? Of course they are. Why else would the CIA suddenly urge us to read hundreds of “classified documents” proving it? Plausible deniability. Alien technology, as we’re all aware, is responsible for the age-regression technology used to keep Nikola Tesla—

Sorry, wrong meeting.

Since the late 1970s, the Central Intelligence Agency has released hundreds of documents in relation to the existence of unidentified flying objects (UFOs). Marking the return of the X-Files, the agency curated a selection of files the intrepid FBI duo, Dana Scully and Fox Mulder, would “love to get [their] hands on.”

Here are a few reports detailing UFO sightings across the world in 1952, which you’d likely find scattered in an abysmal pile on Agent Mulder’s basement-office floor. You’d think someone with photographic memory would be a little more organized—but you’d be wrong.

• Flying Saucers Reported Over East Germany, 1952

• Minutes of Branch Chief’s Meeting on UFOs, 11 August 1952

• Flying Saucers Reported Over Spain and North Africa, 1952

• Survey of Flying Saucer Reports, 1 August 1952

• Flying Saucers Reported Over Belgian Congo Uranium Mines, 1952

Far less prone to flights of fancy, Agent Scully’s keenly analytical mind isn’t going to be convinced by a handful of grainy photos. Here instead we have a collection of official scientific and governmental memorandums on the existence of UFOs (though none will concede it’s proof of an advanced, otherworldly species.)

According to the CIA, Scully might use these documents “to prove there is a scientific explanation for UFO sightings.”

• Scientific Advisory Panel on Unidentified Flying Objects, 14-17 January 1953

• Office Memorandum on Flying Saucers, 15 March 1949

• Memorandum to the CIA Director on Flying Saucers, 2 October 1952

• Meeting of the OSI Advisory Group on UFOs, 21 January 1953

• Memorandum for the Record on Flying Saucers, 3 December 1952

Thousands of UFO sightings are reported around the world each year. They can’t all be weather balloons. No, clearly there is a global conspiracy to conceal the existence of extraterrestrials at the highest levels of power. Nice try, CIA. 

The truth is out there. But first you have to want to believe. 

Illustration via Max Fleishman