Tech

AT&T may be killing the DirecTV and U-verse brands, so here’s a few new name suggestions

New name, same questionable service.

Photo of AJ Dellinger

AJ Dellinger

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AT&T apparently isn’t happy with its DirecTV and U-Verse brands. The telecommunications company is killing them off in 2016 to make way for new branding.

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DSLReports snagged an internal employee memo in which AT&T revealed that it would soon start integrating DirecTV, which it recently purchased for $69 billion, into its “iconic” main brand. It’s not outright confirmation that such a change is indeed taking place, but DSLReports has been reliable for such scoops in the past, so there’s a good chance it’s happening. 

The process will reportedly begin in January, when the company will slap the AT&T globe logo next to the DirecTV name. In the long term, though, AT&T plans to kill off the DirecTV brand altogether, scrubbing away its existing U-Verse name along with it.

The two services, the company said in its memo, will be merged into a single “next generation TV platform.”

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The memo didn’t provide any details on that platform; AT&T either hasn’t figured them out yet or isn’t ready to tell its employees. In any case, we have some ideas for how AT&T should market its TV service going forward.

Name: AT&T We-Verse

Tagline: “Because two mediocre services are better than one.”

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This one is the no-brainer—don’t stray too far from your existing branding, but integrate the new, unified approach that combines two services that no one felt like they got their money’s worth out of.

Name: AT&T Space TV

Tagline: “It’s TV. FROM SPACE!”

AT&T took some heat for its massive acquisition of DirecTV, a stagnant company in a market with no growth potential. To combat that, AT&T needs to go on a full-out brand assault playing up the satellites. Who cares if it’s a worse signal that gets interrupted by clouds? It comes from space, y’all!

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Name: Definitely Not AT&T, If That’s What You’re Thinking

Tagline: “That was those other guys.”

A rebrand is the perfect opportunity to leave behind the negative connotations that were attached to your old name and establish something new. This is AT&T’s shot to really hammer that home.

Name: AT&T Today

Tagline: “The things you need today, installed tomorrow.”

If there is one universal complaint about all Internet and cable providers, it’s that they never show up when they say they will. AT&T can embrace that with a tongue-in-cheek name that will give customers a chuckle while they wait for their installer to arrive sometime between summer solstice and winter solstice.

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Name: It Doesn’t Matter

Tagline: “We’re your only choice.”

Thanks to AT&T’s acquisition of one of the other largest service providers, the already barely competitive marketplace got even less competitive. Odds are, if AT&T is in your area, it’s one of, if not the only viable choice for TV and Internet. Call it whatever you want, it’s what you’re stuck with anyway.

H/T DSLReports | Photo via Mike Mozart/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

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