Quiz: William Faulkner or Apple Watch review?

It's harder than you think.

Mar 1, 2020, 6:17 am*

Tech

Taylor Hatmaker 

Taylor Hatmaker

At the moment, the Apple Watch is absolutely blowing the minds of a handful of early reviewers, who have penned multi-thousand word paeans to Apple’s diminutive wrist-bound  computer. As the Cupertino company’s first brand new product design since the iPad, the Apple Watch is just as sure to confound and delight prospective buyers—but did you know that it could inspire? And how!

Join us in admiring these consumer technology pioneers as they wax philosophical, ascending impossibly wrought, uncannily Faulknerian heights, all in the name of a hardware review.

They’re so Faulknerian, that we went ahead and made this quiz: 

(Full disclosure, we also can’t wait to get our hands on the Apple Watch.)

Apple Watch review or William Faulkner literary quote?

1) “I think the serious things really are the things that make for happiness—people and things that are compatible…”

2) “It is a bauble, after all, and baubles delight simply by their presence.”

3) “Time is a fluid condition which has no existence except in the momentary avatars of individual people. There is no such thing as was—only is.”

4) “For now, the dreams are hampered by the harsh realities.”

5) “… a gentle massage from a friendly bumblebee”

6) “It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work.”

7) “The effect was so powerful that people who’ve previously commented on my addiction… started noticing a change in my behavior.”

8) “The difference is whether or not you’re willing to think about what really matters vs. what seems to matter.”

9) “Time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.”

10) “A man is the sum of his misfortunes.”

11) “But then I looked past my cynicism, and my eyes were opened.”

12) “Please do not die this way.”

13) “The past is never dead.” 

Answer Key:

Apple Watch: 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 11, 12

Faulkner: 1, 3, 6, 9, 10, 13

Illustration by Fernando Alfonso III 

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*First Published: Apr 8, 2015, 4:18 pm