“What’s in a name?” Shakespeare’s Juliet famously asked. “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
And that which we call feces by any other name would smell like crap.
If you were the type of student who had such irreverent thoughts when English teachers inflicted the Wonder and Glory of Shakespeare on you, you’ll appreciate Shakespoope’s Sonnets, a blog that pays scatological homage to the Bard by altering his poems, Mad Libs–style, with an assortment of bowel terminology: “poop,” “fart,” “crap,” “s**t,” etc.
Readers have the option of requesting random sonnets or ordering them by number. Shakespeare’s most famous sonnet, No. 18, starts like this:
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.
After Skakespoope digests it, the sonnet becomes:
Shall I compare fart to a summer’s day?
Crap art load lovely and fart temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling crap of May,
And summer’s lease load all too short a crap.
Shakespoope is clearly a bot script rather than an actual human, which is why the altered sonnets tend to make no sense whatsoever. Too bad, because with only the slightest amount of actual human input, the sonnet instead could have asked:
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s fart?
Thou fart more lovely and more temperate
Break winds do shake the butt-cheek buds of May
And underpants hath all too short a date.
Which, we must admit, still makes for a very crappy poem (in more ways than one).
Photo via Shakespoope