Each week we browse LiveJournal’s Popular Entries feature to unearth fascinating, obsessive, and sometimes bizarre communities for your perusal. There’s bound to be one just for you.
If cats could read, some of their owners would already know what to write to them.
Until that day comes, cat owners are free to share those thoughts with each other at Note To Cat, an epistolary LiveJournal community dedicated to writing letters to incorrigible felines.
Cats don’t speak, but their owners have a lot to say. The nine year old community has around 3,000 members, but enjoys more than 20 posts a day. And while we expect its contributors are sane and productive members of society, cat ownership certainly does something to a person. The archives are full of sweet nothings about fuzzy wuzzy fur babies and tiny widdle paws.
Still, as community owner wibbble notes, you don’t even have to like a cat to write to him:
“Note that this is not a ‘cat-lovers’ community per se. This is a community for people who have things to say to cats.”
Here are five of our favorite letters to felines:
1) It’s a beverage, not entertainment
RandomDiversion wrote a letter to her cat, M, about perhaps dialing back on drinking water from every plumbing source in the house, from the tap to the toilet bowl.
“Also, you should know that the water at all the taps in the house is identical water,” she wrote. “There is no need to lick them all.”
2) A very endearing problem cat
GlimmeringMist’s cat Casper sounds like a terror. He eats her curry instead of his cat food and leaves mouse guts around the house for her to step in. But at the end of the day, she writes to Casper, he makes up for it.
“You certainly make me laugh, though I’m convinced you’ve fried your brain cells from the number of times you sleep with your head pressed up against the radiator.”
Surreal_44’s feline is good at many things, but baking isn’t one of them.
“I enjoyed baking with you this evening, but I have to say, I’m not really sure you actually took that cake decorating course at Michaels after all. I began to suspect something was amiss when I found you sitting on the cake.”
Dragon_Mouse’s cat is going to the vet, Saturday, and she’s laying out her expectations for proper cat behavior in advance.
“I expect you to cooperate. I don’t care if you glare at me all day as you do on Advantage [Flea Medication] Day, just so long as you cooperate.”
5) I love you, but you make me sick!
Sodoesrachael is allergic to cats, but that didn’t keep her from adopting her darling Hemingway.
“I love you, yes, but I also have asthma and I’m highly, highly allergic to cats, so you literally climbing onto my face when I’m trying to sleep is not so conducive to my continued life. And seeing as how you bawl at the door whenever I leave, you might be sad if I died.”
Photo via Michael Coghlan