Amidst plenty of online conversation around marriage, parenthood, or staying single, one voice is cutting through the discourse to say, “please don’t get married.” In the video, the creator discussed why it’s a privilege to remain single and childfree, a historic and social flex for feminism and women’s independence. Surprisingly, all types of viewers—including, singles, married people, and parents—agreed with the video’s points, encouraging women to make choices in their own best interest.
‘Being single and childless is a f**king flex’
On March 16, 2025, creator, influencer and podcaster MJ Gray (@texasgardenfairy) shared a video on TikTok entitled, “Please don’t get married.” In it, she discussed marriage’s confining history, and how—for the first time ever—women have a choice to participate, or not.
“Marriage was the act of making women property. Marriage was the way of exchanging women as property. Marriage was the property transfer of a woman between her father and her husband, regardless of how you feel about it,” she said. “Marriage benefits men, and having children benefits the patriarchy.”
@texasgardenfairy #marriage #dontgetmarried #coparenting #womenempowerment ♬ original sound – texasgardenfairy
Grey goes on to say that agency around marriage and children is a luxury women in very recent history simply didn’t have, and should absolutely be appreciated. “You need to make your own money. That is a privilege. That is a blessing. You live in a time where you can make your own money and make something out of your own life, “she said. “Do not trade this privilege that women have fought for for a G-Wagon. For… trips to Erewhon. You are worth so much more than that.”
The impassioned creator concluded her video by saying, “being single and childless is a f**king flex. It’s much better than being in a grueling divorce, being in an unhappy marriage, being controlled by a man, or having to co-parent with someone who’s f**cking crazy.”
‘This is final boss feminism’
The video garnered 1.6 million views, nearly 233,000 likes and over 8,200 comments, which mostly praised Grey for her empowering take and call-outs of the societal conditioning women endure. “They try so hard to convince us we’re miserable when we’re single,” one comment read. “We’ve been groomed to think marriage is the prize,” said another. “I’m the first woman in my lineage whose resources are all mine,” another comment proudly stated. Another comment simply read, “This is final boss feminism, I love it.”
‘As a happily married woman I can still say…you’re not wrong.’
Perhaps surprisingly, commenters who were married and with children also agreed with Grey. “As a happily married woman I can still say… you’re not wrong,” one comment read. “I’m married, but I agree. The only time a woman should marry is if it benefits her financially. It has to be very financially beneficial or it’s a no,” read another.
‘A toxic relationship is toxic to your whole health’
Grey’s message reflects a bigger cultural trend around marriage. Marriage rates have steadily declined since the 1970s. A Pew Research Center analysis of census data showed that the share of adults ages 25 to 54 who were currently married fell from 67% in 1990, to 53% in 2019. The share of adults who have never been married has also grown, from 17% to 33%.
Some studies also indicate that the stress of a marriage can negatively impact a woman’s quality of life, specifically their mental and physical health. A Utah-based study of marriages found that women in bad relationships were more likely to have high blood pressure, blood sugar, depression, and were at higher risk of diabetes and heart attacks. Dr. Nieca Goldberg, a cardiologist and medical director of New York University’s Women’s Heart Program said regarding the study, “I think we’ve got to get used to the fact that a toxic relationship is toxic to your whole health.”
The Daily Dot has reached out to @texasgardenfairy via direct message on TikTok. The creator did not immediately respond to the request for comment.
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