Beth Cook is a dating coach and wing-woman who throws private dating events for San Francisco’s most awesome and unattached. She also writes and draws about her own dating experiences and would love to hear from you. Want advice? Have advice? Send her an email.
A young female colleague just turned me on to a newish Hulu web series: Dating Rules From My Future Self. The plot: a 20-something girl gets romantic advice from herself ten years in the future via an app.
It’s a concept that many of us 30-something women identify with. We often say, “If I knew then what I know now…”
Men, let me tell you what we know now:
We know that we are awesome—smart, sexy, and successful—and that we shouldn’t waste our time on guys who think we are anything less.
You see, men and women are polar opposites in their twenties (generally speaking). Men have unwavering confidence and women have unwavering self-consciousness. Bummer.
The sad truth is that twenty-something women desperately seek approval from men. We try to gain confidence by scoring dates, having casual sex, pretending that we’re not looking for anything “serious”—and it doesn’t work. On a good day, our bad behavior attracts guys with lukewarm feelings; on the others, it attracts reckless assholes (there isn’t a 30 year-old girl on the planet who doesn’t have an appalling story about one).
I like Dating Rules From My Future Self or at least I liked season one (the jury is still out on season two). The show makes me think about how much I’ve learned about myself and dating over the years and how much I’ve changed—for the better. Though one question arises: would I be in the same great emotional place without having experienced serious betrayal and heartache? Is a life minus mistakes worth living? I’m not so sure.
What I am sure of is that this is a great show for twenty-something women to watch. It highlights mistakes we all make (or have made)—withholding opinions about a guy your friend is dating, not going after what you want, not being honest with yourself, drunk Facebooking, etc.—and teaches an important lesson: keep an eye on what patterns you’re creating in your life; it’s more difficult to break them than you think.
Why not just take the high-road now?
Photo via Hulu