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Amazon is where you go for deals, near-instantaneous shipping and to easily restock your family favorites. But, truthfully, Amazon is the host of some pretty weird sh*t. And if that surprises you, then join the club – we’re working on getting jackets.
We have no idea why Amazon would sell this stuff, but a good rule of business is not to sell what people aren’t buying. So in other words, we can only blame ourselves and the oddity of internet culture for perpetuating this seemingly endless episode of “WTF Amazon.”
Weird products on Amazon that you can buy right now
But what do you do with your hands after you blow snot all over them?
Bonus effect: You look like some kind of weird fish.
Her head is life-size.
Why is the smoke pouring out of her nipples?
On sale for $18.55 (regularly $21)
Technically also an effect you can product for free (if you’re willing to ruin a pair of your pants).
For people who enjoy anal sex a LOT.
On sale for $1,659.48 (regularly $2,500)
This is the crazy cat person manual.
On sale for $6.66 (regularly $14.95)
People have way, way, way too much free time.
Price: $22.49 (regularly $24.99)
Better decor does not exist.
Or just read your phone like everyone else.
Now you, too, can own a pound of human fat on a display platter.
If you hang around the dog long enough, you can also get these for free.
The question is not why, but rather, why not?
Clearly the secret to happiness is a family of plush, emotionless dicks.
Not funny. Just gross.
You’ll never feel lonely again in the fire of Nick’s piercing gaze.
No one will slap you for squeezing this one.
MORE BAZAAR DEALS:
- These light up Pikachu slippers are shockingly cozy
- This Bowser puppet is menacing but totally adorbs
- These penguin dryer balls are your secret to soft laundry
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Marisa Losciale specializes in NSFW culture, audio gear, and photography. A former editorial and photo director for Spoon University at SUNY New Paltz, her work has been featured in the Rockwell Center for American Visual Studies, Post-Trash, the New Paltz Oracle, and the Legislative Gazette.
Jaime Carillo is a writer for Pure Nintendo and a plucky YouTube cook. He specializes in writing about console gaming and kitchen gadgets. It comes naturally, considering he's either wielding a massive cleaver or Switch Pro controller at any given point. When he's not cruising through a drive-thru at 2am, he's baking shokupan or whipping up a big pot of Japanese curry. He enjoys retro gaming, geopolitics, and Vic Berger videos.
Colette Bennett is a writer/editor who specializes in web culture, skincare, and all things geek. Her work has appeared on CNN, HLN, Engadget, Kotaku, Colourlovers, and Continue Magazine. She also writes horror and sci-fi fiction for Corona Books and is at work on her second novel.