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Slash open all correspondence with this Zelda Master Sword letter opener

The sword of evil (and paper’s) bane.

 

Jaime Carrillo

IRL

Published Nov 6, 2017   Updated May 22, 2021, 12:04 pm CDT

Junk mail deserves nothing but a sharp piercing from a mythical blade. This Master Sword letter opener slays enemies and envelopes alike.

This letter opener sits in a pedestal, just like the one in the Temple of Time. Removing it won’t age you seven years, but it may just give you a rush of power. It’s the Master Sword, after all. The blade from blue handle to monster-slaying tip is almost seven inches long, which will dispatch your mail easier than a hoard of Bokoblins. Keep it in its pedestal when it’s not in use, just in case Ganon gets any ideas.

The Master Sword letter opener is available on ThinkGeek for $19.99.

Buy it here

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*First Published: Nov 6, 2017, 12:38 pm CST