15 popular dating sites for people who practice BDSM

Before BDSM dating sites were established, many people involved in the scene used social media to share their experiences and link up with other kinksters. But now that Tumblr has purged all of its NSFW content, a good portion of the kink community has one less outlet to use to connect with each other. However, there are still kink-friendly sites and apps made for the BDSM community.

BEST BDSM DATING SITES FOR 2019
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BDSM dating websites may be advertised as safe spaces to find a Dom/sub relationship, but since when are dating apps used exclusively for their intended purpose? People swiping on more vanilla dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, or The League will tell you that you can use the app to build all types of connections–like committed relationships, casual hookups, and new friends. Well, BDSM dating apps can be utilized the same way.

Are BDSM dating websites safe?

bdsm dating sites Kuznechik/Shutterstock

When used correctly, dating apps like these can be a helpful tool to have. However, as with any online community, if you don’t take the right preventative measures you risk putting yourself in harm’s way. Here are a few tips to prioritize your safety:

  • Remain skeptical and never rush to meet someone–take the time to properly vet their identity.
  • Fully discuss consent, safewords, and boundaries.
  • Establish rules and aftercare rituals.

These details may seem menial, but they’re mega-important for protecting yourself and weeding out those who won’t be a match.

Best BDSM dating sites

1) Perversions

bdsm dating sites Perversions

Neatly designed, the site is easy to use and makes searching for potential matches hassle-free. In fact, it’s so organized that reviewers claim it’s what leads to the site’s high matchmaking rate. Perversions.com also offers users access to private cam rooms, chat rooms, community blogs, and more. Users can join for free but in order to access all the site has to offer, you’ll need to upgrade your membership to a Silver or Gold plan.

Silver members can view and contact members, show up in searches (after Gold tier members and before free members), contact new members, unlimited access to live and recorded videos and 24/7 phone support.

Gold members will have access to all new content first, appear in search results before Silver and free members, receive full access to the Gold Room (which includes erotic photos, movies, downloadable videos, erotic stories, and live webcam shows).

bdsm dating sites


2) Alt.com

bdsm dating sites Alt.com

Alt.com (apart of the FriendFinder Network) hosts a platform for masters or mistresses of BDSM and people looking to practice erotic bondage. Members are able to connect with other users in chat rooms, webcam sessions, and through private messaging. Joining is free, but if you want to access everything the site has to offer you will need to upgrade your membership to a Silver or Gold plan.

Silver members can view and contact members, show up in searches (after Gold tier members and before free members), contact new members, access members photos and video introductions, and 24/7 phone support.

Gold members will have access to all new content first, appear in search results before Silver and free members, receive unlimited access to members photos and screen names, movies, downloadable videos, erotic stories, blogs, groups, magazine stories, and live webcam shows.

BDSM dating sites


3) Bondage.com

bdsm dating sites Bondage.com

Founded in 2004, this BDSM dating website is mobile-friendly but has no app (yet). Its matching algorithm is GPS-based and designed to show you profiles of the top members in your region. But what sets the site apart from the rest is that when users sign up they can choose to upload a profile video instead of a static photo. Users can also choose to sign up with Facebook. Joining is free but in order to send gifts and come up as a priority in search results, you’ll need to upgrade to a paid membership.

BDSM dating sites


4) BDSMDateLink

bdsm dating sites BDSMDateLink

If you’re interested in more than just BDSM and want a site to use a site that supports that, you should consider BDSMDateLink.com. Not only is the site’s membership base fairly large, but it allows paid users to search for potential matches by keyword, personality, and distance, among other detailed search options.

Signing up is free, but if you want to see more than a photo and bio in your search results (or just search more specifically) you’ll have to upgrade your membership to the Unlimited plan.

BDSM dating sites


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5) FetLife.com

bdsm dating sites FetLife

Easily the most popular BDSM dating website, FetLife is your place to go to not only find hot dates but for information on local munches, and ways connect with other members of the kink community.

Most of FetLife’s content is available with a free membership, but if you’d like to view member videos and other lengthy content, you’ll need to upgrade.

BDSM dating sites


6) BDSM.com

bdsm dating sites BDSM.com

Also part of the FriendFinder network, BDSM.com offers users the ability to join online groups and participate in active discussions with other members. Similar to Alt.com, BDSM.com is dedicated to helping users connect with others that enjoy Shibari or are looking for their leather family. That said, joining is free but standard users receive limited access to the site. So to enjoy all there is to BDSM.com, users will have to upgrade to a paid subscription.

Silver members can view and contact members, show up in searches (after Gold tier members and before free members), contact new members, access members photos and video introductions, and 24/7 phone support.

Gold members will have access to all new content first, appear in search results before Silver and free members, receive unlimited access to members photos and screen names, movies, downloadable videos, erotic stories, blogs, groups, access a full-length Cupid’s Report, magazine stories, and live webcam shows.

BDSM dating sites


7) Subs-and-doms.com

bdsm dating sites Subs-and-Doms

Whether you’re looking for a one-time fling or a long-term play partner, subs-and-doms.com supports your quest to Femdom-nation. The site describes itself as “a BDSM community which caters for all your fetish needs…including foot worship, financial domination, Leather, PVC, and bondage.” The registration process is simple. All you need to sign up is an email and about 10 minutes to answer a handful of questions for your profile. Joining is free, but in order to access all of the site’s functions users will need to upgrade their subscription from Classic to VIP.

VIP benefits include: viewing all members’ media, search priority, reading private messages (and extending the favor to Classic members).

BDSM dating sites


8) BDSMsingles.com

bdsm dating sites BDSMsingles.com

Established in 2003, BDSMsingles.com is dedicated to finding singles that are not only in your area but compatible with you based on your selected interests. The site allows users to instant message privately, join group chats, and see when your contacts are online. Although the site is free to join, you’ll need to upgrade to a paid membership to use it.

BDSM dating sites


9) BDSMhookups.com

bdsm dating sites BDSMhookups.com

Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, BDSMhookups.com guarantees to get you tied up. Navigating the site is easy since users can browse members by how they identify (submissive male, Dominatrix, BDSM couple, etc) or by a major city. The site supports user-uploaded photos, videos, group chats, private messaging and more–you’ll just have to pay to use it.

BDSM dating sites


10) MeetBDSM.com

bdsm dating sites MeetBDSM.com

Since 2009, MeetBDSM.com has offered users a platform to find companionship, friendship, relationships and more. The site is free to join and allows users to browse the site, modify their profile, and send flirts for free. Users can even browse members by how they identify (submissive male, Dominatrix, BDSM couple, etc). But in order to access the whole site (like private messages and user-uploaded content), you’ll need to upgrade to a paid membership.

BDSM dating sites


11) SubsAndMasters.com

bdsm dating sites SubsAndMasters

SubsAndMaster.com is host to nearly a million active users, which makes browsing new content and interacting on community blogs well worthwhile for those looking to build a personal network. The site also allows users to blog, chat, and e-mail other members. Joining is free, but if you want to access everything the site has to offer you’ll need to upgrade your membership to a Silver or Gold plan.

Silver members can view and contact all members, show up in search results before nonpaid members, and access erotic photos and videos.

Gold members get all the benefits of silver membership plus priority stacking in search results and listings, advanced search capabilities, and the ability to access cupid emails.

BDSM dating sites


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12) BDSMOnlineDating.com

BDSM dating sites BDSMOnlineDating

Since 2008, BDSMOnlineDating.com has grown to host one of the largest BDSM dating websites to date. The site caters to those who are into bondage but has members with fetishes all over the kink spectrum. And like many other sites, it too is free to join–but requires you to upgrade to a paid membership in order to use all of its services.

BDSM dating sites


13) SandMDating.com

bdsm dating sites SandMDating.com

If you believe that pain=pleasure, SandMDating.com is for you. This very legit BDSM dating site has top of the line security, making it ultra secure. Users can join, browse and upload photos for free, but if they’re looking to chat privately with other members, they’ll need to upgrade to a paid account.

BDSM dating sites


14) MatchBDSM.com

bdsm dating sites MatchBDSM

A more recent addition to the world of BDSM dating sites, MatchBDSM.com specializes in bondage dating and matchmaking. Catering to Masters/Doms and submissives/slaves, according to the site some of the most popular topics discussed are anal, hogties, and light spanking. Clearly, MatchBDSM.com shouldn’t be confused with Match.com–both very successful sites, however, they’re completely unrelated. MatchBDSM.com is free to join; however, paid users are the only ones who get the full experience (reading messages, priority search results, etc.).

BDSM dating sites


15) BDSMDate.com

bdsm dating sites BDSMDate

This large, stand-alone dating site is completely free to use–there are no trials, memberships, or paid add-ons. Here users can read and write blogs, upload photos and videos, and share each other’s posts.  The site has chat rooms for almost every interest which makes meeting compatible kinksters a breeze, blogs for dating advice, and an official Facebook page to help further your connections faster.

BDSM dating sites

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Marisa Losciale

Marisa Losciale

Marisa Losciale specializes in NSFW culture, audio gear, and photography. A former editorial and photo director for Spoon University at SUNY New Paltz, her work has been featured in the Rockwell Center for American Visual Studies, Post-Trash, the New Paltz Oracle, and the Legislative Gazette.