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It doesn’t matter if you’ve been good all year: gifting some NSFW adult stocking stuffers is your pay-for-play ticket to next year’s Naughty List. But from what we hear, the Nice List is overrated anyway. So do right by your partner and give them what they want–longer, fuller, better, and more frequent orgasms.
However, if you’re new to the world of gifting sex toys, you’ll quickly come to understand that buying adult toys or accessories for yourself is much easier than figuring out what your S/O would enjoy. So instead of going in raw, do some research–both on the toys themselves and on your partner. What type of stimulation do they like? What sexual fantasies have they expressed interest in? What types of touch do they not like? And then comes the matching game, finding the toy that best suits their needs.
With so little time until the holiday gift exchanges begin, you might be beginning to feel the pressure. So take a deep breath, put on your reading glasses, and grab your credit card because we’ve spent the last few weeks sifting through our arsenal of go-to sex toys to provide our top picks for you to consider. Don’t worry, we gotchu.
The best adult stocking stuffers and sexy gifts for long-distance relationships
Need a sexy gift for a big traveler? Well if you don’t want to risk the secondhand embarrassment of someone seeing a vibrator in your go-bag or having it fly out if you drop your bag (don’t act like you’re never clumsy), this super discreet bullet vibrator by Tenga is yours for the taking. Designed with silicone, the iroha Stick is body-safe, splashproof, and easy-to-clean, but unlike most of today’s vibrators, it’s not rechargeable–so you might want to gift it with an extra set of triple A’s!
Price: $18.80 (regularly $21.99)
The MysteryVibe Crescendo is one of my favorite doctor-approved sex gifts (read my full review here). Conceptually, Crescendo is kind of like an all-in-one vibrator capable of prostate, G-spot, clitoral, and nipple stimulation, just to name a few). In addition to its versatility, the device itself is completely customizable for everyone’s body parts. Its flexible design allows users to bend it however they see fit, which is optimal for people just starting to explore their bodies as well as those with a specific target in mind. The TL;DR here is: Crescendo allows users to discover a range of often ignored pleasure points. And because it’s designed with premium silicone and not jelly rubber or polyvinyl chloride (PVC), it’s non-toxic, unlikely to cause irritation, nonporous, and totally lube-safe. Just remember not to use the toy with (or store it near) any products that are also silicone-based or you risk degradation.
In need of a sexy gift for a long-distance partner? Look no further. The body-safe OhMiBod blueMotion Nex 1 panty vibe can be controlled via the app and a simple wifi connection. One of the more personalized vibrators, this particular OhMiBod vibrator allows users to play around with presets, share photos, enjoy “club mode” which matches the beat of the music you’re listening to and pulsates the device accordingly, and even lets you make custom vibration patterns in “tap mode.”
I’m just gonna say it: not all adult gifts are made equally–especially when it comes to lubricant. CocoLube keeps you and your toys slidin’ and glidin’ but it’s non-greasy, non-sticky, and smells AMAZING. It’s free from parabens, preservatives, petrochemicals, and silicone, so it’s unlikely to irritate (unless you’re allergic to coconut). And unlike many other natural oil-based lubes, it’s safe to use with toys.
This incredibly informative and comprehensive guide shows you the ins and outs of different methods of bondage. It offers examples of how to incorporate bondage in both sexual and non-sexual activities, the history of various types of bondage, and detailed tutorials. It’s everything you could want out of a guide book and so much more!
If you know your partner really values the art of tying or suspension, one of the most essential bondage accessories is a good rope. It’s available in a variety of materials, some easier to use than others. However, like most things in life, there’s a happy medium. So even if you’re not an expert, a cotton rope will help you practice until you make it perfect! That’s not to say someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing is limited to rope, but may we suggest other methods of bondage like velcro restraints.
Price: $10.99 (regularly $13.15)
Different from lube, clit balms (or in this case arousal gel) cause heightened sensitivity by stimulating the clitoris. These types of products are for external use only, so don’t go coating anything you’ll be using for penetration as you would with a lube. Once applied, users might feel a warm, tingly sensation similar to the feeling of Tiger Balm but it should subside. But as with any new product, it’s important to patch test the arousal gel on an equally sensitive (but not quite as delicate) area. This particular gel is designed with aloe vera and other plant oils so it’s completely natural and free from harsh chemicals.
Price: $13.33 (regularly $21.19)
One of the best sex gifts for long-distance relationships is high-quality, comfortable holiday lingerie. It makes video-chatting and sexting 1000% more fun, because not only will your partner feel hot AF but you get the opportunity to dress them in the style you find most drool-worthy. For those of you unfamiliar with Savage x Fenty, it’s lingerie and intimates designed by Rihanna. The brand prides itself on its diverse and expansive sizing system. For a business that literally attempts to cater to every body shape and size, this lingerie collection does a pretty decent job at providing a wide range of measurements (could be a little larger, but we get it, ya gotta start small). Bra sizes run from 34A to 46DDD and are available in both “regular” and “curvy” cuts, while the panties range in size from XS to 3X plus.
If you’ve been on the hunt for sexy Christmas gifts you may have noticed the latest trend in sex tech is the “sucking vibe,” but that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. Especially those who tend to be more sensitive in their nether region (myself included), y’all would probably benefit from a more traditional clit vibe. They tend to be a little less intense than their more evolved counterparts, but that doesn’t mean they’re less pleasing! Take the Pixie by Sweet Vibrations, for example, it features dual-stimulators at either end and 10 pleasure settings from a soft rumble to more extreme patterns. And unlike the sucking vibes, the Pixie is versatile–capable of clitoral, nipple, and even testicle stimulation.
Price: $39.99 (regularly $49.99)
Not all adult stocking stuffers need to buzz or pulsate. Take this ceramic massage stone, for example! It’ll make you and your partner closer than ever before, fully stimulating their erogenous zones and loosening up muscles where they hold tension so they can relax and fully enjoy every moment of being together. Since it’s ceramic, you can heat it up and cool it for added pleasure, but it’s worth noting that it won’t hold the temperature change for long (this isn’t a hot stone). That said, it’s still a nice perk–especially if you add an aphrodisiac massage oil to the mix!
Sexy gifts ought to be more than just playful, but functional as well! As some of you may know, the clitoris is much larger than the lil bean-shaped blip we can see with our eyes. It’s actually much more extensive, stretching out towards the vaginal opening. But for some reason, many clit vibes only focus on the part we can see (weird, I know). That’s where the Positive Angle vibe comes in–it’s slanted wide-angle design is capable of stimulating more of the clitoris than just it’s “head.” Featuring 20 different vibrations and patterns, this is the perfect gift for the toy newbie as well as the more well-versed sexpert.
Price: $23.55 (regularly $49.95)
MORE BAZAAR DEALS:
- 10 gorgeous glass dildos that double as works of art
- The best waterproof vibrators to take in the bathtub
- 21 stoner gift ideas that don’t involve buying weed
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Marisa Losciale specializes in NSFW culture, audio gear, and photography. A former editorial and photo director for Spoon University at SUNY New Paltz, her work has been featured in the Rockwell Center for American Visual Studies, Post-Trash, the New Paltz Oracle, and the Legislative Gazette.