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Illustration by Max Fleishman

Imma let you finish but...

Oh, hey. It's Coachella this weekend. That means literally nothing anymore because you can watch the entire festival online and because even the New York Times thinks these homogenous events have gotten stale. Somehow, nobody told Kanye West that Coachella is super basic because he crashed the hell out of it Friday night just the same. 

'Ye turned up for A$AP Rocky's tardy set, attempting to rap while his mic shorted out like a syncopated trap beat. The guest verse effectively set in motion the end of A$AP's performance, as promoter Goldenvoice is not fucking around with their festival schedule. A$AP Rocky blamed high winds and being forced to move a video wall slightly lower as the reason why he hit the stage 15 minutes late. Who knows what Kanye can blame for this botched mic work.

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West tried once more to make his mark on a forgettable festival headlined by new guard dad-rock outfit LCD Soundsystem. He ended up in EDM land, surreptitiously showing up and showing love for DJ duo Jack U. The rapper awkwardly stood onstage doing literally nothing for about half a minute. 
Adding to his list of Friday night failures, West also lost a foot race with reprehensible human Tyler, The Creator.

Coachella Track Meet

A video posted by Taco (@yungtaco) on

Yeezy's shortcomings are expected to be eclipsed by an inevitable Guns 'N Roses meltdown if Axl Rose ever decides to take the stage on Saturday night. Stay based, festival world.
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