smart coffin

Illustration via Max Fleishman (Licensed)

Turns out the Wi-Fi sucks in heaven, too.

While you no doubt harbor you own beliefs on the afterlife, there's one thing that's for certain: The Internet has taken over our lives so completely that it'll probably still burrow itself into everything we do once we're buried six-feet under. Twitter account @SmartCoffin makes that clear.

SmartCoffin just launched in April, but it's already done quite the job parodying the the online addiction we're doomed to—even beyond the grave. Mostly the shtick is that this casket is sadly similar to your smartphone, riddled with issues like Wi-Fi connectivity and annoying updates, which puts a comically grim spin on your final resting place.

The account pokes fun at some of the worst things about the Internet that apparently still haunt us even in death. And nothing sounds more technologically frightening than being possessed by the mailer daemon. 

It's obviously satire, but honestly, we wouldn't put it past engineers of the to build an actual "smart coffin" that tracks the decay of your loved ones or streams a claustrophobic "live" feed. But until we hit that point, we'll just sit back and scroll through SmartCoffin's gallows humor. 

And while SmartCoffin might face some connectivity problems with all those layers of grass and soil blocking its signal, it cleverly connects with anyone struck by their simultaneous dependency on—and frustration with—all things Internet.

Most importantly, looks like there is SnapChat in the afterlife.

Check out the rest of SmartCoffin's deadly tweets here
Promoted Stories Powered by Sharethrough
death
Here are 6 of the hottest caskets you can buy on Walmart.com
If you’re shopping on Walmart.com, you’re already admitting to yourself that you just don’t have the time or energy to look anywhere else. Sure, you could find a plunger at the local hardware store, but on Walmart.com you can see seven different photos of the plunger, read a dozen spirited reviews about the plunger, and then have it shipped to your doorstep.
From Our VICE Partners
Group

Pure, uncut internet. Straight to your inbox.

Thanks for subscribing to our newsletter!