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This Seattle teen wants to be your kid’s babysitter and/or porn counselor

Unless you've got a better idea.

 

Miles Klee

Internet Culture

Posted on Sep 3, 2013   Updated on Jun 1, 2021, 7:29 am CDT

Not sure whether to add a “special skills” section to your anemic résumé? Let this Seattle teenager who posted his credentials on Craigslist be your guide: sure, he was looking for any kind of odd job, but that doesn’t mean he was afraid to get personal.

“Hello my name is jose im a 14 year old latino looking for a job,” the ad begins, “i would like any job out there i would do anything to get money well not anything please email me with job offers i could take care of 10-13 kids and just about anything but not cleaning.” Not sure whether Jose means that he can babysit a few kids younger than himself or more than a dozen of them at a time, but so far, nothing unusual here—just an enterprising young man.

It’s in the next sentence that things take a turn for the weird: “also if you have a son thats addict to porn i can help him stop i been threw it too but i matured alot and im a responsible worker please take me serious not like a kid thank you.”


 

Sounds like quite a life Jose has led—hitting rock bottom and bouncing back all before he was old enough to drive. If you ask us, this guy needs to forget about menial labor; he has all the makings of a wildly successful self-help guru and ought to launch that career post-haste. 

Here’s hoping someone can hire Jose and find out if his method really works.

Still, when it comes to finding regular employment, it may be better not to mention the porn addiction thing like you’re a felon on parole just trying to make good. That’s really more of a break-room confession for your second week on the job.

Photo by dan barbus/Flickr

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*First Published: Sep 3, 2013, 3:57 pm CDT