eggplant

Photo via notionscapital/Flickr (CC-BY 2.0)

From the eggplant to getting off.

Sometimes the hardest part of watching porn is choosing the specific content that you want to watch for, uh, inspiration. Thanks to Pornhub, you may never have to stress out over that choice again.

The website has set up a service called "Emoji 4 Porn" that lets you text an emoji to a Pornhub phone number and receive a link to a video on the site. Each emoji translates into a different kind of video.

Obviously, everyone has their favorite kind of porn, but some of these emoji come off as a little offensive. A taco for "Latina"? A dark-skinned woman for "Ebony"? If the nationality categories could just be flag emoji, couldn't something have been resolved for the others? 

Anyway, the U.S. phone number to text is 646-760-PORN (7676). That's way easier than trying to sext a past hookup, right? This way, you at least know you'll get some material to work with—and if all else fails, you can just text the number another emoji.You'll be getting a random video, but at least it will fit the confines of whatever category you picked.

On my first try, texting the number the crossed swords emoji presented me with "BRUTAL FLOGGING AND NIPPLE TWISTING." And the computer monitor emoji led me to "sexy secretary MiaMaxxx part 2," which means there's a whole part 1 out there on the Interwebs, just waiting to be flung into someone's texts with the same Webcam category request.

Confident that I'd continue to get links corresponding to the proper emoji, I tried experimenting with double emoji. Unfortunately, my query did not work, and I ended up just getting sent a random video.

Then, as the intrepid explorer that I am, I tried to find Easter egg emoji. 

My texts to the Pornhub number looked like this:

Gabe Bergado

I figured I'd try a variety of different emoji, from ones that made sense to ones that would be a little bit off the beaten trail. Would the two-girls-holding-hands give me twin smut? Would texting a certain animal emoji unlock furries?

Unfortunately, the results weren't stellar. 

Gabe Bergado

Swapping sexts with Pornhub definitely sounds like fun at first, but it's much more of a hassle the longer you think about it. You could just stick to clicking the hyperlinked categories at the bottom of Pornhub videos to sift through other similar videos. 

Whether you're texting emoji to Pornhub or finding something to watch the old-fashioned way, we hope you get your happy ending. 

H/T Gizmodo 

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