Life must’ve been great for my sister before I was born. She got all the attention from my parents, didn’t have to share any of her toys, and never worried about another kid stealing her shine. She was an only child, and, in her mind, things seemed like they would be that way forever.Unfortunately for her, things didn’t stay that way forever. One day, my parents decided to get pregnant again, and I came into the world shortly after. This didn’t sit well with my sister. This didn’t sit well with her at all. Angry that another child was now part of the family dynamic, she tried to attack me in my crib when my parents brought me back from the hospital. It must’ve been very hard for her to give up her her status as the only child—and to a boy, no less. I’ve always felt that my sister attacked me because she wanted a little sister, so I have great empathy for this little girl who just can’t deal with the fact that her mom is pregnant with a non-female. I feel you, girl. Who are going to have tea parties with? Who are you going to tell those secrets that only a younger sister would understand? Who tf are you going to go shopping with?
The answer is: your little bro. He can do all of these things and also protect you from the fuckboys you’re going to have to deal with when you reach middle school. And honestly, why would you want a little sister, anyway? Now you can keep all the toys to yourself.