The British resort town of Cheltenham usually doesn’t see a lot of news. Its chill offerings bring it the occasional national attention but rarely does a story go global. Cheltenham finally got its day in the sun on Thursday thanks to one of the biggest tragedies the borough has ever faced.
Local newspaper the Gloucestershire Echo ran a story bright and early about a full KFC feast of fried chicken and french fries discovered on the ground at 6:30am. The killer combo was just chilling on the sidewalk, its contents strewn like a body dumped after a crime. Needless to say, citizens were horrified, as were people around the world who’d picked up on this senseless act.
A real tragedy in Cheltenham today… https://t.co/OYi7d6jDuM pic.twitter.com/qhZje7QD7W
— Uche Amako (@UcheAmako) April 7, 2016
Oh the horror. Life no longer worth living in Cheltenham https://t.co/e50e2WtBfC
— Dan "the Legal Juggernaut" Kaszeta 🇱🇹 🇺🇦 (@DanKaszeta) April 7, 2016
We cannot continue like this.When will someone step up and sort out these problems #kfc #cheltenham @GlosEcho pic.twitter.com/UBxCepESra
— Dan Udell (@Danudell) April 7, 2016
I demand Facebook bring in the solidarity profile pic- why isn't this getting the coverage it deserves?? #Cheltenham https://t.co/SM5VR3giQY
— Erin Lawless (@rinylou) April 7, 2016
The chicken only lasted a few hours before it was snatched up. Just a few fries were still dotting the street by the time reporters had returned to the scene at 11:25am. Some say this mystery points to a larger problem in Cheltenham, however.
There's a dark side to living in #Cheltenham that's often covered up. Today it's been well & truly exposed: https://t.co/EI2ylO7IOt
— Hannah Hart (@celebranthannah) April 7, 2016
A quick search of the Cheltenham KFC reveals that the biggest crime may be in how they serve their customers and prepare their chicken. Apparently, the KFC location mere stumbling distance from the discarded feast is awful. Just ask these unhappy customers:
@kfc thanks for the plastic in the chicken purchased it from store in Cheltenham town centre pic.twitter.com/3ynmlbH7o4
— Dev Patel (@stumped4dev) March 5, 2016
#cheltenhamKFC needs some more staff service is a joke!
— PJ (@PaulJamesMonnes) October 17, 2015
Thanks @KFC_UKI I know times are hard but you could've put a little bit more in #cheltenham and it tastes of water pic.twitter.com/n0KEkZUtPY
— Tom Hoskins (@hosky93) December 6, 2015
@kfc 'Fantastic' service tonight in Cheltenham KFC. You know, if you like burned baked beans and (1/2) pic.twitter.com/j3GYPrnrW6
— Aimee (@aimeeraindrop) December 3, 2015
While Twitter‘s been decrying the anonymous owner of this abandoned bag of KFC, it seems that the chicken chain has been serving up buckets of bullshit at their Cheltenham location. Wake up, sheeple.