ken bone

Screengrab via @laurenduca

The title writes itself.

Americans, rather than face the flaming wreckage of our two-party political system, have opted to focus on Ken Bone

The regular dude with the great name and a frustrating disinclination to say the words “climate change” captured our imaginations in Sunday night’s town hall debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. Since then, he’s hammed it up on Jimmy Kimmel Live and helped IZOD sell pretty much every one of those red pullover sweaters they had in stock.  

Which means all that’s really left for Bone to do is… porn.

Yes, Bone has come to that inevitable fork in the road that every microcelebrity—even Chewbacca Momultimately faces: Will you choose to parlay what’s left of your fleeting viral fame into a lucrative few moments of sexual inhibition so that the world can laugh with/at you one more time? The livestreaming porn site CamSoda has claimed it would pay Bone $100,000 for an hourlong broadcast in which the somehow-still-undecided voter would have significant creative control.

“While Donald and Hillary continued to bicker, we were especially distraught that your question didn’t receive the appropriate attention it deserved,” wrote CamSoda president Daron Lundeen in a press release/open invitation to Bone, the New York Post and others reported. “The show can cater to your specificities but we were thinking you could take us all to the Bone Zone and tell/show us what you’re all about.”

To sweeten the deal, Lundeen also offered Bone 25 disposable cameras. To many viewers’ delight, Bone was seen snapping photos of the debate hall with his own disposable camera after the event had ended, as bringing any electronic devices onto the stage was explicitly forbidden.

“Who knows, maybe you’ll decide to announce you’re running for President,” Lundeen added in an aside that could well turn out prophetic for our meme-addled culture. It’s only a matter of time before #trending matters more than policy or personality. Indeed, why vote for Trump when we could elect Pepe? If we survive 2016, the 2020 campaign should be lit. 

H/T New York Post

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ken bone
Ken Bone's famous red sweater sells out within hours
Perhaps because we cannot bear to think about the two people currently running for the job of commander-in-chief for another goddamn second, America has created a huge buzz around Ken Bone , the nice, Midwestern, red-sweatered man who asked a not-very-good question about energy policy at the second presidential debate.
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