American hero turned athletic meme John Cena is set to return to wrestling on Memorial Day like some type of patriotic phoenix.
The WWE Superstar underwent shoulder surgery in January and stubbornly clung to his prediction that he'd return within five months, despite an estimated recovery time of up to a year. Nothing says "hustle, loyalty, respect" like not following doctor's orders.
And what was Cena met with on the eve of the long weekend of his return? This icy hot burn from shit beer brand PBR:Being that Cena low-key has the hots for marines and even starred in a movie called The Marine, it was a pretty unsurprising move when the WWE merch gods unveiled a line of all-American swag. The Pabst-inspired merchandise included copious tees that appeared to rip off the brand. As of Saturday morning, all but three items remained from the red white and douche starter pack: Faux military dog tags, a baseball cap, and sweatbands.
Despite the WWE acquiescing, the Cenation wasn't going to take this shit lying down. Their best defense? Pointing out just how unoriginal a large chunk of Cena gear has been over the past few years:Given WWE's finisher on the subject, it looks like Cena is still bound for Monday Night Raw instead of the courtroom. It's unclear which trite brand the folks behind his merchandise will rip off next. Perhaps they'll try the beer route again and go with
If a beer company no longer based in the states can rip off an entire country then, goddamn it, so can John Cena.