All sizes | Hot Pocket | Flickr - Photo Sharing!
Going deep inside the mind of Twitter's most perverse folk hero. 

Since @VersacePopTarts, or Thot Pocket, made headlines for getting suspended from Twitter after having sex with a Hot Pocket, everyone on the Internet had three questions: a) “why the f**k would you do that?!?!”, b) “why the f**k would you do that?!?!”, and c) “how long did you microwave it for?”

Fortunately, the folks at First We Feast discovered the answers to all three. In his first-ever interview, the 18-year-old from New Hampshire provided us with a tantalizing glimpse into the mind of the world’s (second) most infamous pastry fornicator. Here are some of the highlights:

The inspiration behind the Hot Pockets stunt: Thot Pocket first made waves on the Internet with his first Twitter account, @pizzaminati, until “all these large-ass accounts” stole his tweets. He decided to post the Vines of himself having sex with a Pop-Tart and a Hot Pocket to retaliate against “these people giving me mad hate.”

He has a professional rivalry with the guy who had sex with a Domino’s pizza. When asked about his peer in pastry-plowing, Thot Pocket said he’d heard of him, but “there’s no proof” that he actually did the deed. I smell a Twitter feud!

His first stunt as @VersacePopTarts: The “Please Please Me” of Thot Pocket’s career, compared to the “White Album” of his Hot Pocket stunt? Posing with a bottle of Hennessy in front of his penis. He also glued pubes to his face, apparently.

He used a condom. “ I tried doing it without a condom and it was just, like, way too hot. I put it in the fridge for a little bit and I was like, “Dude, I’m gonna have to use a condom if I’m gonna actually stick my dick in the whole Hot Pocket.” He then put the Hot Pocket in the microwave “for, like, four minutes, I think.”

It was a ham and cheese Hot Pocket. Why ham-and-cheese? “Um, it [was] just the only one” available at the convenience store at the time.

Shockingly, he works in the—wait for it—food services industry. The man who became famous for having intercourse with a range of food stuffs handles food on a daily basis: he currently works as a grill chef at a seafood restaurant. But don’t call the sanitary department just yet, New Hampshire-ites: He says he’s never given the fish and chips the Hot Pocket treatment.

The one pastry that’s off-limits: Apparently, Thot Pocket has a soft spot in his heart for flapjacks: “I would never defile pancakes like that.”

H/T First We Feast | Photo by Belldog/Flickr (CC BY NC - SA 2.0)

Promoted Stories Powered by Sharethrough
Unclick
This Hot Pockets music video with Snoop Lion and Kate Upton is conceptually insane
Just when all the buzz over Chipotle’s Pixar-ish polemic against industrial farming had begun to subside, we get this on YouTube: a simply jaw-dropping music video epic about the microwaveable semi-food known as Hot Pockets, with a cast featuring Kate Upton, Snoop Dogg, Oliver Cooper, Bow Wow, and KevJumba. Oh, and Larry King.
sex
Teen speaks out against her school's sexist sex ed program on Facebook
If you’ve ever perused teen sex questions on Yahoo Answers, you know the state of sexual education in this country is extremely dire. Apparently, the crappiness of sex ed programs also extends to Singapore, where one teenage girl wrote a Facebook post eviscerating her school’s family values-based sex education curriculum for perpetuating dangerous and inaccurate gender stereotypes.
Group

Pure, uncut internet. Straight to your inbox.

Thanks for subscribing to our newsletter!