ketchup cake

Illustration by Max Fleishman

Wonders never cease.

Ketchup is a condiment used to spruce up many a dish. It makes fries taste better. 

It’s perfect on hamburgers. 

It’s good on a hot dog, even if haters don’t agree. 

When it’s far away from pastries and other baked goods, ketchup is a delightful treat. You know what else is a delightful treat? Cake.

It’s great for parties.

It’s perfect for when you’re hungover and want something sweet. 

It’s a nice post-workout snack.

When cake and ketchup are at least 1,000 miles apart, all is good in the world. So who in their right mind thought it was a good idea to bake a ketchup cake? Someone from Reddit is the answer. User Big_Black_Cat was the one to notice that the back of his Canadian Heinz ketchup bottle offered a recipe for such an abomination.

Then, against all common sense, gregnuttle decided to actually bake it, chronicling his culinary adventure on YouTube and Imgur.
No one was more confused about this than other redditors. And rightfully so. A ketchup cake is a crime against humanity, and hundred of people had strong opinions about this stomach-churning cake suggestion that no one asked for. 

Reddit

This comment set the tone for what would become a thread of shock and confectionery outrage. 

Reddit

After gregnuttle finished cooking the ketchup cake, he uploaded a video of his dog eating it. 
Canine abuse at its finest.

Reddit

Agreed. Just hearing the words “ketchup cake” would induce nausea in any young child.

Reddit

This is not OK. 

Reddit

Everything makes sense now. This is all Canada’s fault. 

So there you have it. A recipe for a ketchup cake exists in the world, and people are actually making it. How could Heinz Canada do this? After all the talk of free healthcare, cheap living, and Canadian niceness, you decide to mix ketchup with cake. If Trump wins the presidency, there’s going to be millions of Americans with nowhere to go. 



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