One Sunday evening, a friend sent a screenshot to our GroupMe, illustrating a heated discussion she was having about her love of RuPaul. But in a twist of fate, the screenshot included her frequently used emoji.
I gasped and typed a reply: “My God. I feel like I’m peering into your soul.”
We had a laugh, and other members of the group shared their emoji. Then I fired off a tweet that would lead me to my life’s unknown true calling.
What I meant as a harmless joke (and hoped would get a few likes and RTs) landed quietly on Twitter. But it made a huge splash on Facebook, where it was taken as a very serious offer by my friends. The screenshots came pouring in, and I found myself firing away with my thumbs, furiously divining the fortunes and personalities of my friends late into the night. In the morning, there were even more requests.
I was an Emojiscope reader. A clairvoyant for the millenial set. With a quick peek behind the curtain, I could tell anyone who they were and what they were wanting, needing, and avoiding. But then the skeptics weighed in: Is this really based on the emoji, they asked, or are you just using what you know about us?
Sure, most horoscopes are fluff, but this was happening to me. It was real! I could feel it.
With great power comes great responsibility, so I decided I would challenge myself. I bravely set foot in the offices of the Daily Dot and asked my colleagues—many of whom I’d never met, due to an undying love for working from home in pajamas—to entrust me with their frequently used emoji and respond honestly.
Did I truly have “the gift”? I needed to know.
Rachael Berkey, Executive AssistantYou are generally friendly and like to keep things sunny and carefree, but you do have strong opinions—you just don’t show them to everyone that easily. If you disagree with someone, you’ll tune them out rather than say it to their face. You love summer, spring, and breezy days outdoors with friends and treats, but you’re very hardworking. Sometimes you forget to take time out to chill until it’s too late and you are dead tired.
I agree with most of this but will say I’m actually very much a winter person. I do love to be outside, though, and the last few days have been gorgeous, so I’ve been tweeting a lot about that. 😊
Aly Keeves, Realtime Social Editor
You are very romantic, and you love to dream about the future both near and far, but you're also a go-getter who believes in taking action. You've got lots of energy, and you rarely sit still. If it feels like a door has been closed to you, you'll use all your effort to pry it open. Moments of frustration may be intense, but you bounce back quickly. You know how to laugh at yourself, and you are proud of the fact that even under stress, others rarely see you break a sweat.
WOW! This is super accurate. The moments of frustration part is especially true. Also, I used to be an event planner, which can be very stressful, but I was known for keeping my cool, so that last part is also totally me.
Gabe Bergado, Staff Writer
You are extremely hardworking. Others can count on you to be reliable and prompt. When things get rough, you don’t mind doing the heavy lifting to make sure that all works out in the end. You also have a goofy, playful side, and when you’re not hard at work, you let your inner flirt come out to play. You like to reward yourself and celebrate your efforts with tasty food, fun parties, and good sex.
This is pretty spot-on! I usually am the friend that's on time, so definitely feeling your reading that I'm prompt. I do consider myself a goof, but not sure if I have an inner flirt because I'm so bad at it and eventually just start babbling about television or memes. Celebrating with tasty food and booze is totally true—I'd be throwing weekly drunk brunches if I had the bandwidth to do so.
Jaya Saxena, Staff WriterYou are sensitive and thoughtful. You are very patient with those you care about most, but if someone pisses you off, you will let them know it. You keep a close inner circle, and those you love can expect to be treated with plenty of kindness and affection. Overall, you are very good-natured, but there are times when you fret over old disappointments. Your sentimental side works best when you focus on fond memories, and you love trinkets and souvenirs.
This is a wonderful scope, and I definitely think very accurate! I am what my husband calls a "putterer." When I'm bored or anxious, I like flipping through old photo books or looking at little family heirlooms and trinkets, so that last bit is spot-on! And I definitely feel the stuff about friendship too. I am very loyal, and it takes a lot to make me want to cut somebody out of my life, but once I reach that point, it's over.
Raymond Baro, Ad Ops Manager
You are enthusiastic and eager to be helpful whenever possible. You have a lot of respect for order, hard work and a job well-done. Incredibly tenacious, when you decide to commit to a goal, there is no stopping you. While you invest a lot of energy in work and financial success, you aren’t all business—every now and then, you love to cut loose. You have a friendly demeanor, and building positive relationships, both deep and casual, is important to you. Although you are almost always cheerful, you should not be disturbed when hungry. Those who poke the bear will get mauled!
Not surprisingly, 100 percent accurate 💁. Tenacity underscores the entire description of being all-or-nothing and trying to be balanced. I was less shocked by revelation or being predictable than I felt validated in self-realization.
So, was the experiment a success? With five satisfied clients under my belt, I felt validated. My faith in the one true compass of the emojiscope was restored.
Of course, there will always be skeptics. But they're mostly the kinds of curmudgeons who swear off emojis anyway. And to that I say, bye haters. *Smiley emoji* *middle finger emoji* *gun emoji* *mini hearts emoji*