President-elect Donald Trump took to Twitter today to share a picture of himself preparing his inaugural address.
He is at Mar-a-Lago, which he dubbed the “Winter White House,” but what most people took notice of was him using a pen and pad of paper for his speech.
Writing my inaugural address at the Winter White House, Mar-a-Lago, three weeks ago. Looking forward to Friday. #Inauguration pic.twitter.com/S701FdTCQu
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 18, 2017
Now, there’s nothing wrong with that. Not a word in the Constitution says inaugural speeches need to be composed on Microsoft Word, and Teddy Roosevelt didn’t bother with a MacBook Air before taking to the bully pulpit.
But a few people noticed the paper appeared to be… blank.
https://twitter.com/InternetHippo/status/821775464121434120
That’s alright. Two days out and nothing composed? Lincoln didn’t have his Gettysburg Address finished until the train ride up.
But since he didn’t show anything, everyone took to Twitter to dream what might be on the pad.
The internet consensus? Well, this being the internet, it was dicks.
Obvious but necessary. YW. pic.twitter.com/M8f9xtcTON
— Brian Abrams (@BrianAbrams) January 18, 2017
https://twitter.com/AndrewHusband/status/821782667746246656
https://twitter.com/GerryDuggan/status/821818365769490432
Not necessarily wrong. The guy did mention his penis while campaigning more often than any other candidate in modern American history.
Some went the less obvious route.
There’s the Simpsons comparison.
https://twitter.com/steventurous/status/821778176972095494
“Name’s Trump. Donald Trump, and I’ve been president in Brockway, Ogdenville, Nothern Haverbrook, and I’ve made them great again.”
Others assumed a severe case of writer’s block.
https://twitter.com/AshleyAlese/status/821773913076199424
Perhaps he was doodling middle school symbols
— eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) January 18, 2017
Was he penning his own sordid, modern, illustrated, Dostoevsky-esque romance?
https://twitter.com/asabenn/status/821779001031196691
Or was it just the efforts of a toddler?
wow looks great pic.twitter.com/kRxMCN4yLB
— elisabeth jakovenko (@esjesj) January 18, 2017
And what if he’s gone mad?
.@realDonaldTrump pic.twitter.com/XI1a3Z52ez
— comedycentral (@ComedyCentral) January 18, 2017
Or is out of ideas?
it's coming on nicely, looks like you've got it covered @realDonaldTrump pic.twitter.com/rBVHTNrjk9
— Simon Deverell (@simondeverell) January 18, 2017
One thing is for certain. We won’t have to wait long to find out what is on the pad (Gwyneth Paltrow’s HEAD???). His speech is this Friday.
It probably won’t involve dicks.
Probably.