A cat named Leviathan is causing loads of trouble in the shipping lanes of the southern living room.
"At first we were grateful for Levi’s presence," said Tom Snyder, safety officer for the Downstairs Commerce Association. "She was mostly going after the pirate ships that were already causing us trouble."
But last week, the cat started attacking merchant vessels as well, and since Thursday, nothing has been able to get from the kitchen to the dining room without getting scratched up pretty good.
"We’re considering hiring a dog for protection,” said Snyder, “but that presents a host of other problems. Like, who has to walk him? And, what happens if he makes on the rug?”