vday15
These are valentines your date will never forget, not even with therapy.

You're probably sick of reading about Valentine's Day by now. They're all the same. They're never memorable.

But if all the sap in the air is making you sick, maybe you'll think beyond The Notebook this Valentine's Day. Express your romantic sentiments through a real cinematic classic: The Human Centipede. And don't bother with a Hallmark card (or a Someecard) either. 

These messages of love, lust, and soda theft may result in Valentine's Days your date will never forget, not even with the aid of therapy.

1) Sometimes, love just ain't enough. The missing ingredient is lemon-lime soda.


v
ia

2) It's nice to know that, to Amelia, deodorant is still optional.


via

3) Ah, canned Beefaroni and a Nicolas Cage valentine. Or, in Internet terminology, marriage proposal material.


via

4) This is an actual vintage card that, for some reason, isn't seen in stores anymore. Except maybe in Texas.


via

5) Nothing expresses love truly like a Joker-esque face scrawled onto a desk.


via

6) All is fair in love and war. But more so in war.


via

7) If you receive this card, it is a sure sign that your Valentine is a keeper. The front is a major sacrifice.


via

8) This card, from a daughter to her father, signifies the importance of undying love.


via

9) You should be thankful. Wolverine never expresses his love this way.


via

10) If you have earned the respect of your students without having set foot on the Jedi Council, you have won as a teacher.


via

11) Should Mom and Dad feel grateful or horribly afraid?


via

12) Grapes have nothing on tear ducts.


via

13) I would have to say that Squidward is far uglier than Patrick.


via

14) Pair this one with, uh, chocolate? Or not. Gross.


via

BONUS CAGE: The sting of love isn't always this painful.


via

Promoted Stories Powered by Sharethrough
Unclick
Japanese teen pop meets death metal in an explosion of awesome
In an age when nearly every song ever recorded is available at a moment’s notice, it’s easy to get cynical about music. Everything’s been done before and we have a never-ending Spotify playlist to prove it.
reddit
Big Bird broke our hearts today
Reddit Ask Me Anything sessions (AMAs) can be somewhat of a mixed bag. Sometimes the celebrities invited to do a session spend the entire time focused on their latest project while crudely sidestepping the questions that matter most to the audience; other times they decide to give in to their fandoms and subsequently break the Internet.
The Latest From Daily Dot Video
Group

Pure, uncut internet. Straight to your inbox.

Thanks for subscribing to our newsletter!