Your favorite '90s TV catchphrases were all about shade

The ’90s, at this point, really seem to be no more than grist for the nostalgia-deranged content mill that is the Internet. Yet we’ve been sadly remiss in bringing our distinctly 21st-century social concepts and Twitterized slang to bear on this not-so-long-lost decade. Sure, we could have simply relived the era’s favorite TV sitcom catchphrases, but we pushed ourselves to do something more. Something meaningful.

Here, then, are the best ’90s TV catchphrases, ranked by shadiness:

1) “You got it, dude,” Full House 

Mirror, mirror, on the wall—who’s the shade queen of them all? Michelle Tanner, of course. The youngest daughter in the Tanner family trio first graced our television screens in 1987. As a baby, she worked her way into our hearts with perfectly timed burps and Uncle Jesse hair-pulling. 

But it wasn’t until the Olsen twins could actually speak that Michelle Tanner became a phenomenon of her own. Her most famous catchphrase—“You got it, dude”—was the punchline of nearly every scene she was in. It’s easy to overlook this saying as a simple acknowledgement, but this truly was slights of all slights. “You got it,   dude” is the most passive-aggressive way to tell someone to get the hell out of your face because you’re done listening to what they have to say. 

Perfect Shade Example: It’s Monday, you’re at work, and you’re not being as productive as usual—because you’re a lazy piece of shit. Your boss is “motivating” you with some light threats, and you can either cuss her out or hit them with the “You got it, dude,” and a thumbs up. Cussing her out would be totally satisfying, but the job market is cruel to people who don’t take shit. Thus, you respond to every comment with “You got it, dude,” and the widest smile your face can possibly transmit. Your boss will think you’re newly committed to working hard, when in reality, you’ve simply deluded her into thinking you actually care what she thinks. When Michelle says “You got it, dude,” she’s really saying: “I’m five years old, I hear you but I’m not going to do shit.” Adopt that attitude toward life and remember that you’re too young and fabulous to care about the haters. 

2) “Did I do that?” Family Matters

We remember Family Matters like it was yesterday. A well-meaning Steve Urkel, in his corny highwaters, suspenders, and oversized glasses, would slip and destroy the fruits of the Winslow family’s hard labor. He was nosy, intrusive, and a low-key stalker of Laura Winsow. Urkel’s only redeeming quality was that he had a heart of gold… Or did he? 

What if his clumsiness was an elaborate plot to retaliate against the family that always treated him with contempt? Perhaps the real question isn’t “Did I do that?” but “Did you check out how I fucked ya game up right there, don’t make me do it twice?” 

Perfect Shade Example: You’re standing in a high-traffic area at the bar. People keep bumping into you. At first you take it in stride because you’re a good person and want to go to heaven, but even Mother Teresa had her breaking point. An acquaintance bumps into you and shrugs it off. You respond by pouring your $13 dollar drink all over their white pants. Whoops (#worthit). When they begin to fume and yell at you, hit them with the most nasally “Did I do that?” that's ever been recited. Of course you did that, but you can't be punished for “accidents,” because “accidents” happen all the time. Urkel’s catchphrase throws major shade by absolving you of any guilt, chalking up your intentional assaults to chance. 

3) “Who loves orange soda? Kel loves orange soda. Is it true? I do, I do, I do,” Kenan & Kel 

Kel is singlehandedly responsible for orange soda’s spike in market value. On Kenan & Kel, he was the strange best friend who never went home, didn’t have parents, and kept to a diet that would’ve landed most children in protective services. His love for orange soda was unparalleled, and he was unashamed to admit that no human could contend with this carbonated beverage. 

Doesn't seem like shade at all, right? Wrong. (Have you even been reading this article?) Kel’s adoration for soft drinks sends major red flags. Kel has no allegiance, no ties—he only looks out for self and soft drink. 

Perfect Shade Example: When you’re in a relationship, your significant other will sometimes get on your nerves. Sometimes he/she isn’t even doing anything; their mere existence pisses you off. Rather than starting a fight, it’s best to just subtly shade them so they know their tier in the relationship hierarchy. When your significant other tells you they love you after a long day of being the most annoying fucking person in the world, tell them, “Kel loves orange soda.” They’ll undoubtedly laugh and nudge you to say you love them, too. They need that validation—as humans, we’re all sad and hollow. Don’t give them shit. Instead say, “I do, I do, I do-oooo,” and then stare into the blacks of their eyes until the thin veneer of trust shatters. They’ll never bug you again, and you’ll wield all the power. 

4) “Oh my god, they killed Kenny!” South Park 

He doesn’t say much, and he doesn’t do much. All he wants to feel is the warm embrace of his hoodie, but the South Park boys are always dragging him into their misadventures. Subsequently, Kenny is always getting decapitated, crushed, bludgeoned, or shot, which prompts Stan or Kyle to say, “Oh my god, they killed Kenny. You bastards!” 

Although this seems kind, remember that the South Park boys are saying this because Kenny is already dead. Really, his blood is on their hands. This catchphrase is the ultimate shade because it shows Kenny’s crew is truly too distracted to save Kenny from constant threats. In all likelihood, Kyle, Stan, and Cartman are glad that they weren’t the ones gruesomely impaled. If feigning shock and outrage is the only effort needed to mourn Kenny’s death, then that is exactly what they’re going to do to look like moderately decent, caring friends.  

Perfect Shade Example: Everyone has that friend who is always getting caught up in drama. Whether they’e being stopped by the police, escorted outside by the bouncer, or yelled at by the fire marshal, this person is always busted for your mistakes. Some people are just unlucky, and it’s your civil duty to capitalize on any friend’s unluckiness to make sure your ass stays out of jail. Next time your friend takes the fall for your wrongdoings, run away with your group fast enough to avoid trouble and shout “THEY KILLED KENNY, THOSE BASTARDS.” Your friends can rest assured that they’re properly mourning a comrade’s capture and “the Kenny” will think you’re saluting him for his martyrdom. That’s exactly what you want him to think.

Illustration by Max Fleishman