Remember the maddening Comcast call heard 'round the world? In a wholly uncharacteristic decision to acknowledge its dissatisfied customer base, the usually unapologetic cable behemoth issued a memo directly addressing the instantly infamous conversation.
"The call went viral on social media and generated news headlines. We have apologized to the customer privately and publicly..."
Comcast actually came out and apologized for something, which is nearly unbelievable.
"...it was painful to listen to this call, and I am not surprised that we have been criticized for it."
Side note: One could argue that every single aspect of being a Comcast customer is painful.
"I know these Retention calls are tough, and I have tremendous admiration for our Retention professionals, who make it easy for customers to choose to stay with Comcast."
We assume he meant "make it impossible for customers to choose otherwise using whatever means necessary." Retention is clearly a massive focus for Comcast. Funny how a lot of companies don't even have to worry about their users jumping ship in droves...
"The agent on this call did a lot of what we trained him and paid him—and thousands of other Retention agents—to do."
No surprise there—any Comcast hostage knows that this wasn't an isolated incident.
"He tried to save a customer, and that’s important, but the act of saving a customer must always be handled with the utmost respect."
The notion of "saving a customer" could probably be avoided altogether if Comcast improved, you know, the thing we pay it for.
"We can, and will, do better."
Comcast apparently plans to examine its aggressive retention protocols. Forgive us for our skepticism, but we'll have to see it to believe it.