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Twitter’s best (and weirdest) New Year’s resolutions

Lose weight. Stop wasting cucumbers. Unsee Battleship.

 

Mike Fenn

IRL

Posted on Dec 31, 2012   Updated on Jun 2, 2021, 4:33 am CDT

“This year, I resolve to make some changes.”

How many times have you heard this as New Year’s Eve approaches? New Year’s resolutions have become just as big a staple of the holiday as “Auld Lang Syne” and crowd-led countdowns. While those who make resolutions may be serious about maintaining them throughout the coming 12 months, many fall back into their old routines before January is even complete.

We all know the person who, in between ice cream sundaes and trips through the McDonalds drive-thru, resolves to lose weight and spend more time at the gym. We also all have that friend who resolves to “be a better person”–then wishes a painful death on a fellow driver during a streak of road rage. We have also been in the company of people whose resolution is not to make any resolutions. We laughed politely.

Some people may even forego making their own resolutions altogether and enlist the help of the Resolution Generator. From “jog” to “find someone with the same name as me on Facebook,” there is something for everyone whose resolution for 2012 was apparently “make no original thoughts.”

Just in time for the dawn of 2013, we at the Daily Dot found a collection of 13 Twitter users who have taken the concept of New Year’s resolutions to unique lengths. From the unattainable to the hilarious to just the plain absurd, enjoy what your fellow Twitter users resolve to do when the clock strikes midnight on January 1.

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Photo via Gamma Man/Flickr

 

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*First Published: Dec 31, 2012, 2:29 pm CST