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Samuel L. Jackson takes the gold in Olympic commenting

Tired of Ryan Seacrest? We have got the only London 2012 commentator you'll ever need...

 

Lorraine Murphy

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Posted on Aug 1, 2012   Updated on Jun 2, 2021, 1:34 pm CDT

“Craig Sager is wearing NORMAL clothes!!! There has to be Olympic Pimp Gear available, I saw the opening ceremony!!!!”

Yeah, everyone was thinking it, but only one man had what it takes to actually tweet it. That man: activist, actor, icon, iSam app inspiration Samuel L. Jackson.

Forget the athletes: this is the man to watch at these Social Media Olympics.

Over the past four years, tweeting what’s on the TeeVee has become an indispensable part of the shared viewing experience, particularly at sporting events. After this long, it’s about time we got something more interesting than “GOOOOAAAAALLLLL! #goteam” on the screen. The general consensus is that NBC’s announcers are not particularly killing it (not even giving it a modest flesh wound) and both nature and television audiences abhor a vacuum, so it’s only natural that people are looking elsewhere, to Twitter, for entertaining, stirring commentary.

Here’s a sampling:

Heeeeeere We Goooooo! Women’s Gymnastics! I BELIEVE!!!! Go USA!!!”

Got past the True Hardness! That BEAM’s a BEEYOTCH!! Les’ get ta TUMBLIN’! Go USA!!!”

Okay, that was Drunk Lady Staggering Flip dismount! Made famous by many girls missing the top step in da club!”

That was that Trip & Pour My Drink on 4or5 folks ‘scuse me Gurl move!”

Never seen a MUFFAWKIN 12!!!”

DREAM REALISED!!!!! US Gymnastic GOLD!! Strong performances! Pressure makes DIAMONDS!!! Go USA!”

Can’t imagine what kinda Fuckin’ up musta been goin’ on for Russia to win Silver! Gotta be Ass Busting’ worthy of our amusement!!”

America, our search is over.

Photo by Photo Giddy

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*First Published: Aug 1, 2012, 10:31 am CDT